If you want less stress and better relationships, then focus on the future. Unfortunately, many people live in the past. They replay conversations and events in their head repeatedly, analyzing what happened and what each party said. While it is good to understand the past so we learn and grow, living in the past often results in negative emotions. That’s why it’s important we all focus on the future.
This advice is especially important today. As we all start engaging with family and friends in face-to-face settings again, focusing on the future will promote healthy relationships. So here’s my best advice: When you interact with family, loved ones, close friends, and other valued people, don’t begin a new conversation with … >>> READ MORE >>> →
If you want to have better communication skills, listen up! In fact, listening is the single most crucial factor of all communication skills. It is more important than stirring oratory, more important than a powerful voice, more important than the ability to speak multiple languages, and more important than a flair for the written word.
Good listening is truly where effective communications and relationships begin. It’s surprising how few people listen well. Those who do are the ones who have learned the SKILL of listening.
The fact is that people love being listened to. It’s true in the business world and at home. Actually, it’s true of just about everyone we meet in life.
Dale Carnegie wrote that the secret … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Attentive listening is the most valuable tool we have for enriching the quality of relationships. Yet, many people neglect it.
Attentive listening means listening without distraction. I have met very few people who have practiced this approach to the point of making it a skill. My financial planner was one such person. Cory had the knack of conveying the feeling that, when you were with her, you had her undivided attention. I don’t know if she learned the skill or if it was just natural with her. But I remember the charismatic impression it made on me.
Unfortunately, all too often, we experience the opposite of attentive listening. As the chair of an accreditation team representing the Western Association … >>> READ MORE >>> →
How you communicate with someone has a direct impact on how stressful the relationship is. But it’s not just about the words you use or the tone of your voice. Most people know that using kind words and not yelling is important for good communication. However, what many people fail to take into account is how the other person is perceiving your message, even if you deliver it with a smile.
For example, how many times do you politely tell others what to do? Maybe you tell your child to clean their room, tell your spouse to take out the trash, or tell your employees how to write a proposal. These are all normal, everyday things. But let’s flip it … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Saying NO to others is common. Have you ever had to say “no” to a person? Of course you have. We all have.
“No” is one of the shortest words in the English language. However, its constant use can prompt some of the biggest challenges in family and in other relationships.
“No” is a negative word. How did you feel that last time someone said “no” to you? Chances are you felt sad, deflated, or maybe even angry. When you ask for something and hear “no,” it’s common to feel negativity.
The negative response not only may prompt stress for the receiver of the comment, but it can also prompt negative feelings and some stress for the person giving the … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Some of the decisions we make as parents are based on inaccurate assumptions. We may know exactly what we are thinking and what we mean, but the child may have a completely different perspective. Consider these two examples:
A father is walking through the forest with his three-year old daughter. As they are walking, he repeatedly tells her to stay on the path. The little girl is walking all around. She looks at a tree, then a bush, and meanders here and there. The father continually says, “Stay on the path. I told you to stay on the path.” Eventually, he gets so angry with her that he pulls her over, shakes her a bit, and shouts, “I told you
… >>> READ MORE >>> →