Posts Tagged Influence versus Control

Want to Reduce Your Stress? Stop Controlling People

On October 22, 2020   /   Relationships, Stress Management  

During times of stress, it’s natural to focus on controlling people—what they do and how they act. After all, stress makes you feel like you’ve lost control, so it’s human nature to try to regain that sense of control in some way. Many people accomplish this by controlling others, including their partners, children, and co-workers. But did you know that the more you focus on controlling people, the more stress you’ll ultimately experience?

How do you know if you’re being too controlling? If you experience much stress when interacting with others, chances are that you are aiming to control them. The fact is that people being controlled have low motivation to carry out decisions IMPOSED upon them. As scores of … >>>

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Stop Being a Control Freak

On April 13, 2017   /   Blog, Stress Management  
control freak

Are you a control freak? Do you try to control people and events? If so, you’re not alone. But being a control freak is a source of considerable stress. So if you want to reduce the stress in your life, reduce what you try to control.

If you look around at your family, friends, and co-workers, you will see that the most successful people, the ones with the least amount of stress and the happiest, are the ones who don’t try to control anyone but themselves.

You will further realize that the people who are most miserable and have more stress are the ones who try to control others. Even if they have considerable power, the resistance promotes stress and … >>>

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Discipline is NOT Control

On May 10, 2016   /   Discipline Help  

People being controlled, whether young or old, have low motivation to carry out decisions IMPOSED on them. As a result, enforcement and maintaining that control is both difficult and time-consuming. This is very evident in schools where teachers spend so much classroom time “playing police” by using outdated discipline techniques that aim at enforcing rules, rather than by teaching procedures and inspiring responsible behavior. No wonder so many people are in need of discipline help!

Controlling people aims at obedience, and obedience is not the same as discipline. Except where the relationship is so strong that the person being controlled feels that the control is in his or her own best interest, control rarely brings either desire or commitment.

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Change Your Relationships by Changing Yourself

On August 19, 2014   /   Relationships  

If you look around at your family, friends, and co-workers, you will see that the happiest people are the ones who don’t pretend to know what’s right for others and don’t try to control anyone but themselves.

You will further see that the people who are most miserable are those who are always trying to control others. Even if they have a lot of power, such as over students, the constant resistance in some form by the weaker people they are trying to control deprives them of happiness.

If you try to control your students, you will be met with constant discipline challenges. If you try to control a spouse or partner, the relationship will be stressful. If you try … >>>

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