Are you focused on controlling youth or influencing them? If you experience much stress when interacting with children, chances are that you are trying to control them. Because controllees have low motivation to carry out decisions IMPOSED on them, as scores of research have documented, enforcement is both difficult and time-consuming. This is very evident in schools where teachers spend so much classroom time “playing police”—enforcing their rules or the administration’s rules.
Aiming at controlling people is really focusing on controlling the body and hoping the brain follows. In contrast, influencing people, whereby you aim at the brain and have the body follow. is less stressful and far more effective.
Controlling people aims at obedience. Except where the relationship is … >>>
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