Here is an example of how choice can be used to redirect an impulse toward more responsible behavior—even with a very young child. It is part of a communication from a friend.
“I marvel at what my grandson understands and how he manages to communicate. The other night his parents went to dinner, and he started to cry real tears and scream. I picked him up and gave him a hug and proceeded to explain to him that mommy and daddy went to dinner and they would soon come back. Then I asked him if he wanted to keep on crying until they returned or play with his trains. The tears shut off like a switch! He loves Thomas the … >>> READ MORE >>> →
A significant difference between the optimist and the pessimist is related to the perception of choice. For example, a school math test is returned with a low score. One student concludes, “Well, I guess I’m not good in math,” while another student who receives the exact same score engages in different self-talk: “I guess I’ll have to study harder.”
The difference? The first youngster senses a lack of control—that nothing can be done. “I just have no gift for math,” goes the self-talk. The second youngster believes that something can be done. The first child’s pessimistic self-talk is of resignation—primarily based upon the wrong assumption of a lack of choice and, therefore, a lack of control. The second … >>> READ MORE >>> →