Since people do better when they feel good, use contingencies—rather than imposing consequences.
A simple way to send fewer negative communications and reduce resistance is to use contingencies, rather than consequences. The essence of a contingency is, “Yes, you may do that, as long as you first do this.” “Yes, you may ride in the boat, as long as you wear a life jacket.” Contingencies are so very effective because they promise with the positive—rather than threaten with the negative the way that imposed consequences do.
Although consequences can be either positive or negative, when parents refer to “consequences,” they often think in terms of threats or punishments that are imposed. In contrast, “contingencies” paint positive pictures, empower, … >>>
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