Posts Tagged telling versus sharing

Why Telling and Lecturing Don’t Work

Many parents and teachers rely on telling and/or lecturing as a discipline strategy. It certainly seems to be a better choice than imposing a punishment or offering a reward. But using telling/lecturing as discipline is equally ineffective. Following are six reasons why telling/lecturing is a poor discipline strategy, and what to do instead.

  1. After childhood, telling is often interpreted as an attempt to control.
  2. Whenever we tell people what to do, we convey a subtle, negative message that what they have been doing is wrong or not good enough.
  3. Even if you have an excellent relationship with the person, telling often creates defensiveness—even when the person feels that what you are telling is in the person’s own best interest.
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