Discipline Without Stress Newsletter – October 2005

Volume 5 Number 10 


 1. Welcome

 2. Promoting Responsibility

 3. Increasing Effectiveness

 4. Improving Relationships

 5. Promoting Learning

 6. Implementing The Raise Responsibility System:

     How Your School Can Implement the System

     Your Questions Answered

     Free Mailring/User Group

     Impulse Management Posters and Cards



Last month was a traveling month for my wife and me. We

landed in Australia on the first of September and returned

home at the end of the month. The one and two-day

presentations took us to the Gold Coast, Sydney, Newcastle,

and Adelaide. It was a magnificent month thanks to Judy

Hatswell, a senior faculty Member of the William Glasser

Institute of Australia who sponsored and arranged the


While being hosted by Judy and her husband, Gerry, a retired

school principal, I was admiring their various collections

when I read a postcard sent to Judy by one of her clients. I

share it with you:

     Happiness is not a state to arrive at

     but a manner of traveling.

The William Glasser approach of noncoercion and taking

responsibility for one’s actions is growing in popularity

across the country/continent. Partial credit toward a

masters degree is being planned at the Gold Coast campus of

Griffith University for those who have had William Glasser


If you look at the north western part of Australia, you can

see how it was at one time connected to Indonesia and how

Tasmania was part of Australia millions of years ago. Most

of the continent receives less than 10 inches of rain each

year. Eighty percent of the 20 million human residents

reside around the southeast coastline.

The population around Sydney, which has one of the most

spectacular harbors in the world, is four million –not

counting the kangaroos, wallabies, pandas, wombats, ibises,

and emus.

The following few items may be of interest to educators.

The following is from the Australian Government’s National

Framework for Values Education in Australian Schools:

— Education is as much about building character as it is

about equipping students with specific skills.

— Values based education can strengthen students self-

esteem, optimism and commitment to personal fulfillment;

and help students exercise ethical judgement (sic) and

social responsibility.

The first issue listed in Australian Government’s National

Safe Schools Framework is bullying. Harassment, violence,

and child protection are then listed in that order. The

Raise Responsibility System directly addresses the first

three issues.


The following is from a personal communication from Nancy

Snow, District Guidance Officer, Newcastle, New South Wales,


     “Choice is the basic ingredient for the promotion of

      prosocial values. If we want kids to be caring,

kind, and

      generous, we have to have them become aware of


      You cannot mandate responsibility, persistence,

      consideration, honesty, or integrity. These

values are

      chosen; therefore, the concept of choice is

essential to

      the teaching and learning of values.”

MM’s comment: Young people will choose these values if (1)

the positivity of their benefits are explored, (2) they are

prompted to reflect on their choices, and (3) coercion is

not used.


The most effective approach to influence others is to

consider what they want.

For example, one day Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son tried

to get a calf into a barn. Unfortunately, they made the

common mistake of thinking of only what they wanted. Emerson

pushed and his son pulled, but the calf was doing just what

they were doing. It was thinking only of what it wanted, so

it stiffened its legs and stubbornly refused to leave the

pasture. The housemaid saw their predicament. Although she

couldn’t write essays and books, on this occasion she had

more horse sense, or calf sense, than Emerson had.

She thought of what the calf wanted, so she put her maternal

finger in the calf’s mouth and let the calf suck her finger

as she gently led him into the barn.

You do things because of what you want–whether it be

referred to as a need, a desire, or a craving. This even

applies to giving a contribution. If you hadn’t wanted the

feeling of helping more than your money, you would not have

made the contribution. (Of course, you might have made the

contribution because you were ashamed to refuse or someone

asked you to do it.) But one thing is certain. You made the

decision because you wanted something.


Assume everything you say about another person can be

overheard by that person.


The young boy was to start kindergarten the next day and was

protesting that he would not go.

A normal reaction would have been to banish the youngster to

his room and tell him that he had better make up his mind to

go because he had no choice. (Note: the youngster may have

had no choice as to the decision but certainly had a choice

as to how he could react to it.)

Rather than taking this approach, the father reflected, “If

I were my son, why would I be excited to go to


The father and his wife made a list of all the fun things

the child would do–such as finger painting, singing songs,

and making new friends. Then they decided to do some

finger-painting themselves. The youngster saw the fun his

parents were having and wanted to join in. “Oh, no! You have

to go to kindergarten first to learn how to finger-paint,”

remarked the mother.

Then the parents shared with their son the other fun

activities they had listed.

The next morning as the father passed the living room to go

into the kitchen, he saw his son asleep on the sofa. “What

are you doing here?” he asked.

The son responded, “I’m waiting to go to kindergarten, and I

don’t want to be late.”

Asking, “How can I influence the person to WANT to do what I

would like the person to do?” is a hallmark of successful

parents, teachers, and leaders.


How a school can conduct its own in-house staff development is described at


Details for implementation are described on the next link at



Topics include differences between classroom management and

discipline, three principles to practice, the three parts of

the RRSystem, and how the RRSystem can be used to raise

academic achievement.


The following is from a recent communication to me:

I added “Bugging” and “Breaks classroom procedures”

to Level B. I also added “A piling on” to Level A because I

use a football analogy. Some students choose to tease other

students. This is hurtful behavior.

I explain to my students that in order to learn, they must:

1) Follow classroom procedures and 2) Meet behavior


I use the levels to teach the importance of establishing a

procedure each morning to get to school on time. I give an

alarm clock analogy:

      Level D – You set your alarm clock, wake up, and

get to

      school on time.

      Level C – You depend on your parents to wake you

up and

      get to school on time.

      Level A/B – You hurt yourself by ignoring your


      clock and come to school late.

Your approach really clarifies the concepts of internal and

external motivation. It applies to adults, too. It goes way

beyond the classroom. I tell my high school students that to

succeed in college, they must have motivation on Level D.

Their motivation must come from within.

Thanks again,

Jim Mann


You can post questions and learn more about the system at

the free user group (mailring support) at

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RaiseResponsibilitySystem .




Learning a procedure for responding appropriately to

impulses is described on the Impulse Management link at

http://marvinmarshall.com/impulsemanagement.html .


“I am teaching a graduate course in social studies. I have

experienced teachers and they are loving your book –

absolutely loving it. Of course, with grad students the

perspective is different. They know a truly good thing when

they see it when it comes to practical ideas in the

classroom. You can’t fool them.”

Dr. Suzie McBride

California State Polytechnic University

San Luis Obispo, California