How many times have you said to a misbehaving student or child, “Why did you do that?” You may have even put the child in a time-out so they could think about their answer. While knowing the cause of a behavior may be interesting, in reality it has little to do with changing behavior to become more responsible.
All people—even children—know when they act inappropriately, but KNOWING the motivation does not stop behavior, nor does it lead to a change in future behavior. This realization is in direct opposition to many discipline approaches aimed at determining the cause of a behavior—with the assumption that knowing the cause is necessary to change the behavior. Therefore, relying on discipline techniques that force … >>> READ MORE >>> →
I was brought up on the principle my mother instilled in me, “If you can’t say anything nice about a person, then don’t say anything at all.”
This counsel grew into the first principle of my life’s practices: positivity, which is described in my book as the first principle to reduce stress.
In building relationships, negativism is the biggest enemy. You don’t want it in your mind. You don’t want it in your classroom. You don’t want it in your house. You don’t want it in your environment. You don’t want it in your discipline approach. You don’t want negativism for those who may work for you, your friends, your associates, and especially your students. You don’t want anything to … >>> READ MORE >>> →
What does a discipline approach have to do with personal development?
When a person subscribes to my newsletter, the automated system prompts an inquiry as to how the person found out about it. Responses range from parents seeking ways to reduce their stress and promote responsible behavior to teachers struggling with classroom discipline issues. Every once in a while someone explains that while they are not a parent or a teacher, they find the discipline information I provide enlightening and want to use it for personal development.
That’s a very perceptive answer, because when you use the discipline approaches I outline (positivity, choice, and reflection), you are engaging in a paradigm shift. To quote Stephen Covey, author of The 7 … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Teachers often tell me that even though the Raise Responsibility System discipline approach is referred to as simple-to-implement, they find that they continually have to be aware of being positive, offering choices, and asking reflective-type questions. When I hear this I always reply: “SIMPLE does not mean EASY.”
The system is simple in that ONLY THREE principles—not a dozen or so—need to be practiced. In addition, the Raise Responsibility System (RRS) has only three parts: TEACHING the concepts, ASKING reflective questions, and ELICITING a procedure to redirect impulses.
For example, learning how to drive an automobile is SIMPLE, but it only becomes EASY after you have driven for awhile. Likewise, deciding ahead of time not to eat dessert at a … >>> READ MORE >>> →