Posts Tagged Eliciting a consequence

The Best Way to Promote Responsibility

One vital thought to keep in mind when promoting responsibility with the young is this: “Do not do something for them that they can do for themselves.”

When you want the young person to do something and he or she does not, oftentimes stress is induced—on the adult. The youngster is aware of your emotions and (nonconsciously) derives a sense of power from it. What he is doing—or not doing—is seen as directing your emotions.

Here’s how it often plays out: The youngster has a number of things to do and is laxidazical about doing them. You remind the youngster—to no avail. Time passes. Another reminder is forthcoming with the same result. At this point, many parents resort to discipline … >>>


Elicit Rather Than Impose

Problems with students so often arise from imposing, rather than from eliciting.

When teachers impose “logical” and/or “natural” consequences on students, they are using their authority to impose a form of punishment. It matters not if the adult’s intention is to teach a lesson. Imposed punishments increase the likelihood that the student will feel punished by the adult. Anything that is done to another person prompts negative feelings of reluctance, resistance, resentment, and sometimes even rebellion and retaliation.

In addition, when authority is used to impose, it deprives the student of an opportunity to become more responsible.

Working with the student, rather than doing things to the student, is so much more effective. This approach avoids the problems typically associated … >>>