Posts Tagged Imposed Discipline

Responsibility and Discipline

At the heart of the concept of responsibility is the beautiful idea that it is about “response” (RESPONS-ability), which means that responsibility always has to do with relationships. In other words, responsibility is inherently mutual. You simply cannot use imposed discipline to make someone act responsibly.

So often we treat and confuse responsibility with obedience, as if responsibility can be imposed. Just as imposed discipline does not work, neither does imposed responsibility. There is a failure in the structure of imposition because it lacks mutuality. Although we think we give responsibility, responsibility must be TAKEN if it is to be implemented—hence its mutuality.

Responsibility has a counterpart: accountability. One reason that people resist imposed accountability is that the people at … >>>


Move Away from Imposed Punishments

A parent contacted me about her 6-year old son. She was extremely frustrated because the youth does not pay attention at school and is distracting in class. She revealed that at home everything is fine.

The boy’s teacher is also frustrated, so she gave him a behavior book, in which the teacher records the child’s behavior for the day. The boy brings that book home each day, and if any negative behavior is noted, he is punished accordingly. The imposed discipline ranges from early bedtime to no toys/cartoons to no computer or video game time. Each day the boy promises to behave, but he never does. The parent asked me what to do because she disliked doling out imposed punishments … >>>