Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The human mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” When young people learn about the Hierarchy of Social Development and the various levels, they become more aware of social responsibilities and their relationships with others.
Of course, knowing the hierarchy is one thing. Using it daily is another. Evaluating one’s own behavior can be so challenging and threatening that it is often avoided. So if you want children to effectively use the hierarchy, you can influence them to do so by starting with yourself. Reflecting on the different levels involves engaging in self-evaluation—the type of activity that prompts motivation to change in a non-threatening way, which is a major reason for … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Many parents take the caretaker role too far by accepting responsibility for making the child happy and putting their own desires aside. This approach is not good for the parent or for the growing child. When the child continually asks the parent to do something, and the parent does what the child requests, the parent sooner or later may feel some resentment and even anger. Notice the implicit learning: It teaches that the child does not need to value the parent’s desires or the parent’s time—that the child comes first.
The child not only learns to be manipulative but also becomes more demanding of the parent’s time. It would be better for the parent to sometimes say, “I’ll do … >>> READ MORE >>> →
It’s often said that parents are a child’s first role model. This is so true, as evidenced by the following story a parent sent in.
“My son started putting himself in timeouts probably because that’s what I did with myself. If I got frustrated or angry or impatient with him, I would excuse myself and say, ‘I am going to go sit on the porch and take a break; I’ll come back and talk with you when I’m calm.’ He usually came to look for me to apologize for his behavior or to see if I was all right.”
What kind of responsible behavior are you modeling for your children?… >>> READ MORE >>> →
The parent is the first teacher—and the most influential. In fact, you cannot help but teach because you are always modeling, whether you like it or not. And children are perceptive. They pick up everything you model, not just the good. Consider this example:
Every morning a father drove his three-year-old daughter to preschool. One day, the father was away at a conference and the mother drove the girl. The youngster, sitting next to her mother, could hardly see over the dashboard and asked, “Mommy, where are all of the bastards today?”
The mother replied, “I don’t know, honey. I guess they’re only out when your father drives.”
Every second of every day you are modeling something to children. What … >>> READ MORE >>> →