Discipline Without Stress Newsletter – September 2013

Volume 13 Number 9


  1. Welcome
  2. Promoting Responsibility
  3. Increasing Effectiveness
  4. Improving Relationships
  5. Promoting Learning
  6. Parenting
  7. Discipline without Stress (DWS)
  8. Reviews and Testimonials




Happy people are constantly evaluating themselves and unhappy people are constantly evaluating others.
—William Glasser, M.D. (May 19, 1925 – August 23, 2013)


I came across a video narration of my discipline program that may interest you. It is based on Carlette Jackson Hardin’s textbook “EFFECTIVE CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT.”

The video describes the RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM (the discipline system) part III of the teaching model:

A few things to notice from the video:

-Even kindergarten students understand the vocabulary and concepts.
-After teaching the concepts, I only refer to the letters, not the vocabulary.
-The picture displayed does not look like me.
-Level A and Level B refer to BEHAVIOR, while Level C and Level D refers to levels of MOTIVATION
-I do not use “rules” because I find the key to good classroom management is teaching and practicing procedures, rather than relying on rules that automatically prompt an “enforcement mentality.”
-I did not, contrary to the video, contact the author and mandate that the trademark symbol be used. The author used the “registered mark” with “Discipline Without Stress” because it is in the title of the book.

You can view the video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF-reeS5slM


Always encourage youngsters to look to themselves to solve problems, rather than relying on others. This is of critical importance because adults, desiring to help young people, too often do things for them that they could and should be doing themselves.

Never take on a young person’s problems if he or she is capable of meeting the challenge. The reason is that every time you solve a problem for someone who is capable of solving the problem without you, you are depriving the person of an opportunity to become more responsible. In addition, The person misses the satisfaction that arises from success.

As it has been aptly said, “If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.” If young people are to learn how to become responsible, they must experience responsibility. When they have a problem, rather than solve it for them, ask, “What do you suggest?” and “Do you want me to do it, or can you handle it yourself?” Invariably, the young person will come up with a solution that doesn’t involve the adult.

Start with empathy before referring to the youngster’s handling the situation. It can sound something like this: “I know it is hard; the same thing happened to me when I was younger. But what would an extraordinary person do in this situation?” Elicit a solution so the person gains confidence to handle future similar situations.


“The moving finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on; nor all thy piety nor wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
Nor all thy tears wash out a word of it.”
—From The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (1048 – 1131)

One of life’s greatest misconceptions is the belief that the past is responsible for our lives.

One way to understand this fallacy that the past determines our lives is to imagine your body as a speedboat that is cruising through the water at 40 knots per hour. From the stern peering down at the water, what you would see in this imaginary scene is the wake, the “V” shape of turbulence in the water left behind.

The boat represents your “cruising” through life, and the wake represents your past. It is rather obvious that a trail left behind cannot determine where the boat is going. The engine determines your direction—not the wake.

When you think that the past determines the future you are living an illusion that the wake is driving your life.

Much of current psychological thinking is based on this illusion—that people will be healed when they “discover” what it was from their past that determines the present or the future.

The finger is still attached to your heart, and you can write anything you choose regardless of what it wrote yesterday.


As a professional speaker, I treat my vocal chords as athletes and musicians treat their key assets. So one of my procedures is to sing in order to enhance my vocal variations and tone of my voice. I do this by singing a few mornings each week.

One of the songs I often sing along with is a recording of Frank Sinatra’s “On the Sunny Side of the Street.” I especially enjoy the lyrics since they bring to mind my “positivity” principle to practice.

Here are part of the lyrics:

“Grab your coat and snatch your hat,
“Leave your worries on the doorstep. 
“Just direct your feet to the sunny side of the street. 

“Can’t you hear that pitter pat and that happy tune is your “step.
“Life can be so sweet on the sunny side of the street.

“I used to walk in the shade with the blues on parade.
“No longer afraid, the rover crossed over.

“If I never had a cent, I’ll be rich as Rockefeller.
“The gold dust at my feet on the sunny side of the street.”


“The greater danger
“for most of us
“is not that our aim is
“too high
“and we miss it,
“but that it is
“too low
“and we make it.”
—Michelangelo (1475 – 1564)

Ask the key to success in real estate and you will hear, “location, location, location.”

Ask the key to learning and you will hear, “expectation, expectation, expectation.”

Questioning why some cultures and subcultures produce citizens who have developed the characteristics of responsible behavior, perseverance, success in schools, and those requirements necessary for a civil society and you will soon conclude that the key has to do with expectations.

My way of communicating Michelangelo’s message is by concluding my presentations with two words: EXTEND YOURSELF!


The back-to-school season is upon us with many classrooms already are buzzing with new activity and others are waiting to be filled with eager students. As children arrive at school, keep the following thoughts in mind:

An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.
—Benjamin Franklin

An education isn’t how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It’s being able to differentiate between what you know and what you don’t.
—Anatole France

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
—Stacia Tauscher

Learn as if you were to live forever.
—Mahatma Gandhi

Treating people as if they are responsible increases the chances of their becoming so.
—Marv Marshall


Pegg Heyer, the distributor of all my products, shared with me the following:

“I have been studying Dr. Marvin Marshall’s RAISE RESPONSIBILITY SYSTEM extensively and have implemented it in many classrooms, particularly in high-need, failing schools.

“It has been brilliant and very successful. Unfortunately, my new school won’t allow the poster due to the wording. I am sad; I love these posters and love having them in my class and the small cards on my students’ desks.”

(The cards and posters can be viewed at www.marvinmarshall.com/store/)


Unfortunately, some educators in authority have not taken the time to review the Hierarchy of Social Development before making such decisions. View the complete explanation: http://marvinmarshall.com/the-raise-responsibility-system/hierarchy/

The inference is that we should not speak about “bullying” because we don’t want it. Sweeping the concept under the rug, rather than confronting it, does not empower young people to handle this type of inappropriate behavior.

The word “bully” is used specifically because the practice is so prevalent among young people and should not be tolerated. See http://marvinmarshall.com/discipline/responsibility-system/using-the-hierarchy-to-reduce-bullying/

For a wonderful explanation of viewing how the hierarchy can be explained, see http://teachers.net/gazette/SEP08/marshall/


The following is from a recent  SEMINAR evaluation:

I have taken a lot of seminars, and have taken a lot of education courses, only a few which were helpful. This is one of the best seminars I have ever attended.
—Paul Dias – Tillamook, Oregon

The EDUCATION book: http://marvinmarshall.com/store/discipline-without-stress.php

I highly recommend Dr. Marvin Marshall’s book and his program.
—Dr. James Sutton author of “What Parents Need to Know About ODD: Up-To-Date Insights and Ideas for Managing Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Other Defiant Behaviors”

The PARENTING book: http://marvinmarshall.com/store/parenting-without-stress.php

This book shows parents how to teach children to be self-disciplined and to do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do, rather than relying on obedience.
—Sharon Millwood  – Monroe, North Carolina