Volume 8 Number 2
IN THIS ISSUE:
1. Welcome
2. Promoting Responsibility
3. Increasing Effectiveness
4. Improving Relationships
5. Promoting Learning
6. Discipline without Stress
7. Testimonials and Research
1. WELCOME
MONTHLY RESPONSIBILITY AND LEARNING QUOTE:
First, I want to say that I have taught for 25 years and
have never had to use rewards or punishment for discipline.
However, I have moved to a new school where every teacher in
the school uses the “pull your card” or “move your boat,”
etc., resulting in punishments or rewards.
I have never had to do this but have been able to TEACH MY
STUDENTS TO BEHAVE BECAUSE IT WAS IN THEIR BEST
INTERESTS
AND THE RIGHT THING TO DO. However, some of the
children I
am now teaching have no idea how to use self-discipline.
They asked me to create a chart. I was ready to make up my
own little chart system when I came across your book on
the Internet.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE KNOWN IS THE BEST FORM OF
DISCIPLINE.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom on this topic.
Jody Jarjoura
Senatobia, Mississippi.
———
I have added a new link entitled, “CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT” to
my website. The description page describes four new links:
1. “Curriculum, Instruction, Management, and Discipline”
–Understanding the differences can pinpoint the cause of a
problem.
2. “Rules”
–Rules are meant to control, not inspire. Rules are
necessary in games, but between people they immediately
create an adversarial relationship. This link describes a
much more effective approach to promote responsible
behavior.
3.”Procedures to Consider”
–Shares examples of PROCEDURES, the key to successful
classroom management.
3.”Attention Management”
–Shares a simple visual and a procedure for quickly
obtaining students’ attention.
The new CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT link is at
http://marvinmarshall.com/classroom_management.html
2. PROMOTING RESPONSIBILITY
The following are from notes taken by Joy Pelton after
attending one of my presentations, used with her permission:
ELICIT a consequence; don’t impose it.
Don’t tell a student what is going to happen if. . . .
Rather, REDIRECT by saying, “George, what do you suggest we
do about this?” “What else?” “What else?” until George comes
up with a consequence that you agree with. Then respond
with, “I can live with that.” PEOPLE DONÕT ARGUE WITH THEIR
OWN DECISIONS.
Two characteristics for changing behavior: (1) There needs
to be an acknowledgment that a change is necessary and (2)
The person needs to own the decision.
“Every time you use your authority to dominate, you deprive
that child of the right to learn how to be responsible, to
make a responsible choice.”
Joy L. Pelton
Folsom/Cordova Center Coordinator
Department of Teacher Education
California State University, Sacramento
3. INCREASING EFFECTIVENESS
A reader wrote, “I try to stay positive and think of things
I can do when faced with a challenge. I’m finding that
negativity is contagious and a select few can really bring
me down, making it hard for me to stay positive. Do you have
any suggestions for how to deal with the naysayers at
school?”
I responded that to get you in the right mood, start by
visiting
http://disciplineforsmartpeople.com/index.php/smiling-increases-effectiveness/
As you indicated, NEGATIVITY IS CONTAGIOUS. Combat it by
being proactive. This is done by the simple truth that THE
PERSON WHO ASKS THE QUESTION CONTROLS THE CONVERSATION.
Ask questions such as, “How is this conversation enhancing
the enjoyment of our day?” “Is there anything else we could
talk about so that we will leave feeling good rather than
negative?”
Persevere! It can take but one person to redirect the
negative talk. Also, suggest to the principal–since the
principal is interested in a positive school climate–to
put the situation up to the faculty. The staff may suggest
some procedure or other idea to redirect such negative
conversations.
By taking the initiative, you will be helping yourself,
other members on the staff, and–perhaps most
importantly–the effect this will have on teacher-student
relationships.
4. IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS
Most relationships would
benefit enormously if both people
asked–and then reflectively answered–the following question:
“What must it be like to be in a relationship with me?”
5. PROMOTING LEARNING
The following is my January post at
http://teachers.net/gazette/JAN08/
UNDERSTANDING BOYS
Whereas good relationships are important to girls,
success is more important to boys.
—–
Hopefully, society is well past the “politically correct”
(an oxymoron in a democratic society) approach that the ONLY
difference between a male and a female is in socialization–
that aside from reproductive organs, there is no difference
between the sexes neurologically, emotionally, or
psychologically.
A BOY MEASURES EVERYTHING HE DOES OR SAYS BY A SINGLE
YARDSTICK: “DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK WEAK?” If it does, he
isn’t going to do it. That’s part of the reason that
videogames have such a powerful hold on boys. The action is
constant; boys can calibrate just how hard the challenges
will be; and when they lose, THE DEFEAT IS PRIVATE.
With this in mind, it’s important to remember that
competition improves PERFORMANCE. Some students will
practice for hours spurred on by the competitive spirit in
music competitions, athletics, or speech contests. These
students are motivated to compete. Competition can be fun,
as witnessed by the hours that young people invest in such
activities. However, COMPETITION IS DEVASTATING FOR THE BOY
WHO NEVER FINDS HIMSELF IN THE WINNER’S CIRCLE. Rather than
compete, the STUDENT DROPS OUT BY GIVING UP.
As an elementary school principal and the elementary
committee chair for one of the regions of the Association of
California School Administrators (ACSA), I recommended that
the ENTRY AGE TO KINDERGARTEN BE RAISED, NOT LOWERED. I had
seen first hand how so many young boys were not cognitively
developed enough to handle some of the “sitting still”
academic challenges facing them.
More recently, at my presentations I receive an increasing
number of kindergarten teachers who each year tell me that
their current crop of young boys is the worst they have ever
had. For a number of reasons, these young boys are simply
not socialized enough nor are they cognitively developed
enough before thrusting academics at them.
More and more young boys will become “at-risk” as early as
kindergarten because the feeling associated with weakness in
the academic skills negatively impinges on their self-talk
and self-esteem. I repeat a recurrent theme in my
presentations: “People do good and put effort in their
learning when they feel good,not when they feel bad.”
BOYS WOULD RATHER DROP OUT BY LOSING INTEREST AND
MISBEHAVING THAN SHOW THAT THEY CAN’T PERFORM. Weakness does
not motivate them to want to participate. It takes a
masterful teacher and parent to encourage them to persevere.
The three principles to practice of (1) communicating in
positive language, (2) reducing coercion by prompting
choice-response thinking, and (3) sharing how to act
reflectively—rather than reflexively—can be of
significant assistance when dealing with young boys. See the
teaching model at
http://marvinmarshall.com/in-housedetails.html.
6. Discipline without Stress
First, For a quick review–especially for the increasing
number of new subscribers–the three parts of the Raise
Responsibility System (RRS) can be summarized by the three
CAPITALIZED words after each step below:
Step 1: TEACHING – (Students learn four levels of social
development) Being proactive by TEACHING AT THE OUTSET
is in contrast to the usual approach of just responding to
inappropriate behavior.
Step 2: ASKING – (Checking for Understanding) When a
disruption occurs, have the student identify the
unacceptable level chosen.
Note: A major reason for the success of the system is that
by identifying something OUTSIDE of oneself, the deed is
separated from the doer. The person is not prompted to
self-defend, which is one’s natural and usual approach.
Step 3: ELICITING – (Guided Choices) ELICITING a consequence
or a procedure to help the student REDIRECT FUTURE IMPULSES.
This is in contrast to the more-often-used approach of
IMPOSING a consequence.
—–
The following is from a post at the mailring/forum:
(The mailring/forum and other support are available at
http://marvinmarshall.com/support.html)
POST 1:
Just checking with GUIDED CHOICES. I’m having difficulty
understanding why a student acting up each day gets a fresh
start daily. Do I really have to stick to this? I’ve had
several students that I’ve given the essay to three days in
a row. They say that they will commit to changing their
behavior but apparently they are not. I’m getting frustrated
with the same kids and the same behavior daily. Couldn’t I
just hold onto the essays and after three give them a
self-referral?
MM RESPONSE:
Yes! IF YOU USE THE ESSAYS. How I used them is explained on
page 284 from the book described at
http://www.DisciplineWithoutStress.com
However, I moved away from using the forms to a more
effective apporach of ELICITING A PROCEDURE OR CONSEQUENCE
to help the student help her/himself.
———-
POST 2:
Also, how can this be handled in the classroom when a
student is continually disruptive. I always ask my students
to leave and then that takes time away from teaching when I
go talk to them. If I do it in the classroom, even though
I’m pointing to the behavior, it seems to me that I’m
diminishing their dignity. How can I talk to my students or
help them to change without leaving the classroom?
FROM KERRY’S RESPONSE (WELL WORTH YOUR READING)
In my primary classroom, the kids aren’t yet able to read or
write well enough to do these written activities and in my
high school job at the alternate school, it would be seen as
too negative. The type of student we have there would simply
get up and leave the school, or more likely, just swear at
us if we asked them to do such a thing.
I think that a student can be given a fresh start each day
provided that the same type of action doesn’t keep being
repeated. In other words, when a particular type of
behaviour has been dealt with once, the student is
expected to maintain a higher level of behaviour with regard
to that type of situation from then on.
Remember, the power of the system comes from ELICITING
solutions from the student him/herself. If a student has
completed a self-referral on one day, I would ELICIT
–right at that moment–what should happen if their
behaviour DOESN’T improve. I would have THEM come up with a
suggestion for how they should be dealt with if they choose
to misbehave in the same way again. This takes the
responsibility and stress OFF the teacher and places it ON
the student where it belongs. If a student doesn’t come up
with any suggestions, you can provide a number of them
yourself or you can describe ideas based on what you have
seen other students chose in the past.
(MM Note: To IMMEDIATELY STOP inappropriate behavior during
class when you do not want to interrupt the lesson, just
whisper in the disrupting student’s ear, “DON’T WORRY ABOUT
WHAT WILL HAPPEN. WE’LL TALK ABOUT IT AFTER CLASS.” This
will immediately redirect the student’s attention and stop
the misbehavior.)
In some cases, the student simply needs a procedure. For
example, a few years ago my teaching partner and I had a
student who was undergoing tests to determine whether or not
he had some form of autism. In the beginning of the year, he
was often the last student entering the school after recess
or lunch–late by five or ten minutes. Apparently, he had
had this habit much of previous year in Kindergarten, too.
Although at first we were annoyed and sometimes even angered
by this behaviour, we calmed down and decided that rather
than getting mad, IT WOULD BE BETTER TO HELP HIM BY GIVING
HIM A PROCEDURE TO FOLLOW. IN THE END, IT WAS ACTUALLY VERY
EASY.
First, we had a discussion about the fact that when he came
in late, we might seem angry, but really we were worried,
not angry. We were worried for his safety. We asked him if
he understood why it was important to come in on time and he
honestly didn’t seem to know. We had to explain that we were
worried that if he was out in the back of the school, as he
typically was when the bell rang, there would be no adults
to supervise him. We explained that someone could drive by,
see him, and actually take him away. We would hate for that
to happen! (He didn’t like the sound of that idea either!)
We didn’t do this to threaten him through fear but simply to
help him understand the seriousness of the situation. He
really didn’t understand why there should be a concern about
coming in late. Then we gave him a PROCEDURE: When the bell
rang, he was to RUN to the school door. If he didn’t hear
the bell but noticed all the other kids running, that also
would be a sign that he should run, too. That did it. After
that when the bell sounded, he ran and was rarely ever late.
Here’s another example: Last year we set up a meeting with
the counsellor and a concerned parent. Part way through the
meeting when three teachers, a counsellor, and the mother
were all feeling discouraged because we couldn’t think of
anything to do with this challenging child, he appeared at
the door and so we invited him to join us. Again, after
going around in circles for some time with this very bright
boy who would never ever own up to any blame in any
situation, the counsellor suggested that we focus on just
ONE troubling behavior. The teachers suggested that it be
his “noises” that often destroyed lessons for everyone. With
five adults sadly looking at him, he agreed that yes, he
could work on this issue in the next couple of weeks. The
counsellor wisely planted the suggestion that if he could
work to get this ONE behaviour under control, many of his
other issues would likely just fall into place quite easily.
The counsellor suggested that the student begin a “Noise
Journal” which he would keep on his desk. IN EFFECT, THE
COUNSELLOR SUGGESTED A PROCEDURE. When the student made a
noise, the teacher would give him a signal to fill in the
ending to a pre-printed sentence starter that would allow
him to think about what had prompted the noise.
He wrote things like:
–I made a noise because I was thinking about being out on
the playground.
–I made a noise because I wanted to make Chris laugh.
–I made a noise because I copied Nolan.
As well, there were other sentence starters that said, “I
THOUGHT about making a noise but didn’t because….”
BY REFLECTING AND THINKING MORE CAREFULLY ABOUT WHAT HE HAD
CHOSEN, HE WAS ABLE TO STOP HIMSELF. The counsellor made it
very clear that the journal was not a punishment but rather
a way for the student to help himself reduce his impulses
and habit of making noises. It only took a week or so and
this child’s behavior improved. He realized that his
behavior was a CHOICE over which he had control.
—–
More suggestions from Kerry regarding challenges are
available at
http://www.disciplineanswers.com.
7. Testimonials/Research
I heard of your system from a teacher who attended one of
your Australian seminars. After looking at your web site, I
then purchased your book and read it several times. During
the past year I have been implementing your system across
our whole school.
Joe Grogan
Lismore, New South Wales Australia
