Posts Tagged Asking Reflective Questions

Ask Reflective Questions

On January 11, 2018 / Discipline, Parenting

Image of a question mark looking at itself in a mirror

If you’re tired of continually lecturing your students or children, or if you’re finding that rewards and punishments rarely change behavior long-term, it’s time to start asking reflective questions.

When you use reflective questions, you are directing the other person’s thinking. It is this questioning process that starts the thinking process, both for you and for the other person. This kind of questioning is a gift to the person being asked because it induces clarity of thought. Similarly, the answer can be a gift to the person asking because it is a quick way to obtain and understand the other person’s viewpoint.

Asking reflective questions increases your awareness of a child’s perceptions, thereby significantly increasing your understanding of the child. … >>>

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Ask Questions to Take Control

On December 7, 2017 / Blog, Effectiveness

If you want to have more control in situations and conversations, try asking more questions. One of the key ideas I suggest people write down during my seminars is this: “The person who asks the question controls the conversation or the situation.”

Let me demonstrate how this works. You walk into a store and the salesperson asks, “How are you today?” Isn’t there a natural tendency to answer?

Here is another situation. A friend with whom you are talking suddenly asks you a question. Do you stop and answer the question or do you continue with your monologue? Chances are you stop and answer the friend’s question.

If you want to discipline a student or child, control the situation by … >>>

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How to Stop Classroom Disruptions

On August 28, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

A teacher who practices the Discipline Without Stress methodology recently told me about an interaction in her classroom and wondered how she could improve. Here’s what happened.

She explained that she has a few children in her class who persist in behaving at Level B, even after she has “checked for understanding” and has proceeded with “guided choices.” On the day we spoke, she said that she had told one of her students who hit another child, “I want you to stay in our classroom, but if you act on Level B again, you are telling me that you want to keep on making your own rules for the class.” The child’s behavior did not improve, so she was struggling … >>>

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Reflective Questions Are a Gift

On April 8, 2013 / Parenting, Responsibility

When you use reflective questions, you are directing the other person’s thinking. It is this questioning process that starts the thinking process, both for you and for the other person. This kind of question is a gift to the person being asked because it induces clarity of thought. Similarly, the answer can be a gift to the person asking because it is a quick way to obtain and understand the other person’s viewpoint.

Asking reflective questions increases the parent’s awareness of a child’s perceptions, thereby significantly increasing the parent’s understanding of the child. This clarification leads to both increased effectiveness and improved relationships. A key purpose of all communications is to gain understanding, to get clarity of the other … >>>

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Reflective Questions Lead to Self-Discipline

On January 25, 2013 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Self-disciplined people make a point to think before they act or speak. They think about where each particular choice will lead—to something positive or negative. They think ahead to see if they are going to be satisfied with the consequence that a particular choice will bring. If they are satisfied, they go ahead in that direction. If not, they think again and choose to act or speak differently—in a way that will bring a consequence that they can more happily accept.

So, how do you help a child become more self-disciplined? The key is to hone the skill of asking reflective questions—questions that prompt the child to think. It’s not necessary for the youngster to tell the parent what … >>>

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