What if a child chooses something as a consequence, that is in his/her own mind, nothing more than a way of getting out of trouble? Although Dr. Marshall’s book has validated my beliefs on how to treat children, I do feel that in this one regard a self-imposed consequence could simply be a way out for a person in the wrong.
As well, if a child violates another person’s right, it seems fair that the person whose rights have been violated would have a say in whether they think the self-imposed consequence is a fair one. Could you please advise me if my thinking about is correct or not.
Dr. Marshall’s approach to discipline is certainly not meant … >>> READ MORE >>> →
When a child does something they shouldn’t, I follow DWS and elicit the consequence from them. There have been times however when I’ve been faced with children who don’t know how to think and apply consequences. What do you suggest?
DR. MARSHALL’S RESPONSE:
Elicit a consequence only when a youngster has done something that is rather drastic in nature. In the vast majority of times aim at eliciting a procedure.
Think of a youngster as a young adult who has just not achieved that stature. You want to help the person redirect impulses. Create a visual procedure to help the younger help him/herself. An example is at this link
… >>> READ MORE >>> →
What is the “bottom line” if, after discussions with a student to help him understand the consequences of his choices, he still chooses not to comply?
Who is choosing the consequences—the student or the adult?
The answer to this question is critical. If the consequence is IMPOSED, the youngster has no ownership of it, and ownership is a critical component for behavior change.
What about the case of “no homework” and the student’s admission that he “just doesn’t care and doesn’t WANT to work”?
As Madeline Hunter often stated, “You cannot force learning.” There are thousands of capable, mature, responsible adults who rarely did their homework in school.
I do not use the term, “homework.” I … >>> READ MORE >>> →
I’m trying to get a handle on this whole concept of guided choices and procedures. I guess I don’t really understand what a procedure is or how you would use a procedure when a student is misbehaving. Can you give me an example?
DR. MARSHALL’S RESPONSE:
Teaching procedures is teaching expectations.
Here is an example:
Rather than punishing students for walking down the hallway and talking without permission (against directions), students can be asked for suggestions. The question can be put to them, “What can you do if you have the urge to talk?”
A student might volunteer, “Tell yourself not to talk.” The teacher can respond that this is a good plan but will not produce success unless … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Most of my students have serious behavior problems and disorders. Many days I have had desks thrown at me and have had students try to hit me. To be totally honest, I don’t see how I could use a loving internal discipline system that asks students to just THINK about what they are doing. I am, however, open to suggestions. Any thoughts on how to get an internal system such as Discipline without Stress to work in a very harsh environment?
RESPONSE:READ MORE >>> →
Sometimes people who are new to Discipline without Stress form the mistaken impression that Dr. Marshall is suggesting that young people should have the choice to decide that they can behave in any way they want. This … >>>