Just as young children don’t want to be carried while they are learning to walk, adolescents don’t want adults making decisions for them. In fact, the more the adult tries to exert control over the youth, the more the adolescent will resist, resulting in increased discipline challenges.
Remember, the only way a child can learn to walk is to practice walking. Similarly, the only way to help youth develop responsible behavior is to allow them to practice decision-making.
Each time you make a decision for another person, you deprive that person of an opportunity for maturity and responsibility.
Will you agree with every decision the youth makes? Probably not. But without the opportunity to practice making their own decisions, adolescents … >>> READ MORE >>> →
When it comes to discipline, many teachers (and parents) believe that if they spell out consequences before the child misbehaves, then there will be no need for discipline later. For example, a teacher may say, “If you don’t finish your work, then you can’t go out for recess” or “If you talk during the lesson, then you’ll have extra homework questions.” These “if/then” consequence statements do little to curb behavior problems.
A better approach is to walk over to the misbehaving student and say, “Don’t worry what will happen later. We’ll talk about it after class.”
When it comes to changing behavior, not knowing what will happen is far more effective than knowing what will happen. Young people (really, most … >>> READ MORE >>> →
You don’t necessarily like someone because who the person is; you like the person because of the person’s effect on you. What kind of effect are you having on the children in your life?
Following are three questions that any parent can ask their children on a regular basis (or any teacher can ask students in a class meeting).
1. What did you learn this week that’s valuable enough for a lifetime? (Remember: we find what we look for.)
2. Do you have an issue, problem, or a concern you would like to discuss?
3. What do you feel good about or proud of that you’ve done this week?
(Note: If you are a parent or teacher asking a BOY, … >>> READ MORE >>> →
When people feel good about themselves, they naturally do better, produce more, and are just happier in life. So if you want to reduce discipline issues in your classroom and have a more enjoyable experience with youth, help people feel good, not bad.
An old story shows how this type of outlook affects the other person: A young lady was taken to dinner one evening by William Gladstone and then the following evening by Benjamin Disraeli, both eminent British statesmen in the late nineteenth century. “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England,” she said. “But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the … >>> READ MORE >>> →