Posts Tagged Elicit Consequences

Take the Stress Out of Screen Time

On August 8, 2017 / Blog, Parenting

Many parents experience stress when it comes to the topic of children’s screen time. How much is too much? Should you restrict it? Is screen time a necessary evil? Or is screen time a positive thing? The questions are endless.

A reader sent me the following note about screen time.

“My 15-year-old spends several hours on the computer and she does not part with her phone. She does activities and is a good student, but every free moment she has is spent on Facebook or texting. The network she is on allows for free texts to certain numbers. WI-FI is free so she has Internet access on her phone. She feels that if she has done her chores, then she … >>>

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Stop Trying to Control Youth

On July 16, 2015 / Discipline, Responsibility

When parents and teachers first learn about the Discipline Without Stress methodology, they often ask me, “What sort of consequence would a child with level ‘A’ (Anarchy) behavior receive?”

The answer to this is in a prime difference between Discipline Without Stress and other approaches. Whether the consequence is referred to as logical or natural, as long as it is IMPOSED it will prompt a negative feeling and, therefore, one of resistance.

Rather than imposing a consequence, ELICIT it. The conversation goes something like, “This behavior is on a level that is simply inappropriate in our classroom (or home), and it is unacceptable. What do you suggest we do so that you will not continue to be a victim of … >>>

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Consistency and Fairness in Discipline

On December 27, 2013 / Discipline

Consistency is important when using discipline, but so is fairness. How does a parent resolve a situation where, for example, two siblings are fighting? The usual approach is to impose the same consequence on both parties. But is equality the same as fairness when it comes to discipline? What if one sibling is continually the instigator? Since one individual may have started the incident and since each person’s sensitivity is different, imposing the same consequence on all parties is the least fair approach.

A more effective and fairer approach for discipline is to elicit a consequence or a procedure from each individual to redirect impulses that will help each youngster become more responsible. Of course, if you think that the … >>>

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How to Discipline with Authority without Being Punitive

On May 1, 2013 / Parenting, Responsibility

The keys to the success of using authority without being punitive are in using positive communications, empowerment of choice, and reflection. These practices instill the mindset that the objective is to raise responsibility, rather than to punish.

Punishment fosters evasion of responsibility and also has the disadvantage of increasing the distance between parents and children. A far more effective approach than punishment is to treat the situation as a teaching and learning opportunity.

Elicit from the youngster what the youngster can do to ensure that the situation will not be repeated. In this way, the young person creates and maintains ownership. The implicit message is that a person is responsible for his actions and that inappropriate action is being remedied. … >>>

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