Posts Tagged imposed punishment

Punishment is Not the Answer

On August 19, 2021 / Discipline

If you believe a youngster is an adult, then punish the youngster as you would an adult. However, if you believe that young people are not yet adults and you want to prevent them from becoming incarcerated with the other 2,0000,000 people in this country, then punishment may not be the most effective approach.

Punishment is often confused with discipline, and it operates on the theory that young people must be hurt to learn. But can you recall the last time you felt bad and did something good? The fact is that people, including children, do not think positively with negative feelings.

Punishments kill the very thing we are attempting to do: change behavior into something that is positive and … >>>

Best Discipline for Children

On September 20, 2016 / Discipline Help

Both parents and teachers wonder what is the best discipline for children. For many adults, doling out punishments in the form of time-outs, principal referrals, or grounding is the norm. Those who know my work realize that I disagree with these approaches. So that then begs the question: “What is the best discipline for children?”

Based on what people have read about the Discipline Without Stress methodology, some may conclude that I am against all punishments. This is a wrong assumption. I have no problem with ADULTS using punishments for justice, fairness, or safety.

With young people, however, the problem is not the punishment or the consequence for inappropriate behavior (levels A and B); rather, it is the question of … >>>

The Power of Not Using Imposed Punishments

On April 17, 2013 / Effectiveness, Parenting

Self-punishment is the worst type and the most severe. Unfortunately, imposed punishment is too often used for those who don’t need it. These children will respond without punitive action. Kahlil Gibran makes the point when he asks, “And how shall you punish those whose remorse is already greater than their misdeeds?”

All too often, the assumption is made that punishment is the only successful course of action to immediately halt inappropriate behavior. The paradox is that noncoercion can be far more effective than coercion. This point is brought home when we expect punishment but do not receive it. In such cases, we often remember the experience more than if we had been punished.

For example, a friend related a … >>>