Positive self-talk is vital for stress reduction. In fact, I often say that it’s important to master your mind if you want to reduce stress. But what exactly does that mean? In short, it’s about using positive self-talk to focus your expectations. Do you expect success? Or do you expect failure? While most people claim to expect success, the reality is that their self-talk is setting them up for failure, which in turn leads to stress.
When you expect failure, you communicate your expectations to your subconscious mind. Your brain accepts the notion and prompts your mindset as if you will fail. You actually program yourself in a negative way to do the things that will lead to failure. This … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Negative self-talk comes naturally to make people. Unfortunately, negative self-talk creates a lot of unnecessary stress.
Our self-talk is filtered in response to both internal and external stimuli. Our thinking is internal, while stimuli to our senses are external. In other words, we are affected by what we see, what we hear, what we touch, what we taste, and what we smell. Just imagining something can prompt the same feeling as an actual event. The same goes with our self-talk.
Henry David Thoreau put it this way: “It’s not what you look at that matters. It’s what you see.” The important point here is that we can eliminate negative self-talk and develop positive self-talk just … >>> READ MORE >>> →
It’s so easy to embrace the negative.
In my seminars I pose the following situation: Suppose your supervisor asks you to stop by the office before leaving for the day.
I then ask people to respond by a raise of hands as to how many immediately engage in negative self-talk, e.g., “What did I do wrong?” The raised hands are unanimous.
But the negative assumption doesn’t have to be created. Consciously or not, this negative self-talk is our own imposition. Compartmentalize it. Your supervisor may have a positive communication for you. Since you don’t know what the conversation will be about, a wrong assumption may prompt undue stress.
As an elementary school principal, a middle school assistant principal, and a … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Although fear is usually just negative self-talk about a perceived situation, there are times when it is most difficult to think that it is not real. So rather than attempting to eradicate your fear, warm up to it.
We can learn from our children. Children don’t say, “I can’t because I’m afraid.” For example, a youngster will get on a high diving board and dive off even though she has never done it before. She’ll run to the parent with a great smile, and the parent will ask, “Weren’t you afraid?” She’ll respond, “Yes, I was afraid; I was really scared.”
But a grown-up won’t do the same thing. If you say to a grown-up, “Are you going to dive … >>> READ MORE >>> →
There are emotional challenges that all of us have, even children. One of the challenges pertains to worrying about the future.
Worry is fear of the unknown. Even more important to realize is that worry is actually negative self-talk. Additionally, if you reflect on the things that you have worried about, you will conclude that they rarely occurred in reality.
As with worry, some people live with past failures, with past hurts, and thereby bring past negative emotions into the present.
One of the keys to happiness is to practice thinking in the present rather than dwelling on the worry of the future or negativity of the past. Controlling your thoughts to stay in the present by redirecting negative thoughts … >>> READ MORE >>> →