Using positive discipline when you communicate is the best way to get others to do what you want. If you’re natural inclination is to say, “No, don’t do that,” you’re actually creating more stress. There is a better, more positive way, to discipline.
Allow me to explain the reason that using the negative is ineffective.
Think of your last dream—not that you remember it, but think of how your brain envisioned it. Did you dream in words—or in pictures, illusions, or images? The brain thinks visually, not verbally. Simply stated, the brain does not think in words; it visualizes. This is the reason that using negatives is ineffective and why using positive discipline is so much better.
When people tell … >>> READ MORE >>> →
People who use Discipline Without Stress® find it life-changing because they use many of the techniques in both their personal and professional lives. This 4-hour program—divided into 54 short modules—teaches how to influence others to do what you would like them to do because they want to do it. It is the most positive discipline system because it shows how to use authority without force or coercion. The coercive punishment culture prevalent in many schools and homes is significantly reduced because adults serve as developers of good character rather than as police officers enforcing rules. Want to really use a positive discipline approach? Learn more.… >>> READ MORE >>> →
My late mother-in-law used always to say, “Be careful of asking for someone’s opinion. The person may give it to you.”
Realize that if someone asks you for your opinion and if the person perceives that your comments are derogatory, there is a problem. It doesn’t matter if your opinion is based on fact and logic; all that matters is the other person’s perception of what you said. This is true whether interacting with an adult or a child.
Cognition and emotion go hand in hand, with the latter preceding the former. In other words, what we hear may prompt a negative feeling. Once a negative feeling has erupted, it doesn’t do any good to try to convince the person … >>> READ MORE >>> →
I recently read a story about a woman whose job is to help difficult teens in the foster care system “settle down” so they can successfully function in a regular family. She has a unique method of working with the teens that, as others say, seems to “work miracles” with these difficult youths. I was amazed at how similar her approach is to the Discipline Without Stress methodology. Here’s what she does:
She said that in her mind, she chooses to think of these disturbed young people as “aliens” who have come from another planet. She pictures them as beings newly arrived on earth—with no idea of how this world works. She treats them as she would treat any foreign … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Briefly, what would be the key similarities and differences between your Discipline without Stress and the Positive Discipline method promoted by Jane Nelson?
Thank you, Joanie,
Although Jane and I have similar goals in that we both want to promote responsibility and reduce discipline problems, our approaches are significantly different.
Here are a few:
DWS does NOT award young people for being responsible. DWS expects responsible behavior.
DWS is totally noncoercive—although not permissive.
DWS does not use external approaches. DWS differentiates between offering bribes before doing something and acknowledgments AFTER doing it.
DWS has no interest in one’s past history or environment; it is only interested in present behavior.
DWS emphasizes the importance of teaching … >>> READ MORE >>> →