For many people, happiness seems like something elusive and unattainable. But if you look around at your family, friends, and co-workers, you will see that the happiest people are the ones who don’t pretend to know what’s right for others. They also don’t try to control anyone but themselves.
You will further see that the people who are most miserable are those who are always trying to control others. Even if they have considerable power, the constant resistance in some form by the people they are trying to control promotes stress, hinders optimum relationships, and greatly diminishes the happiness of everyone involved.
If you try to control others, you will be met with constant challenges. If you try to control a spouse or partner, the relationship will be stressful. If you try to control a friend, the friendship will be short-lived. Yet, so often, we try to control those who are most dear to us.
The fact is that you will rarely, if ever, solve a relationship problem by trying to make the other person see that you are right and he or she is wrong. On the other hand, you have probably never heard someone say, “I’m having a problem with what you are doing and I think I have to change what I do or we’ll never solve the problem.” Yet, this is the secret for improving relationships and increasing happiness. Just keep it a secret. It’s not necessary to say it out loud, but it is essential to think in these terms.
Tip: In any relationship, rather than attempting to control the other person, simply ask yourself, “What can I do to improve the situation?” The result will be an option so much more effective in influencing others. As a result, your need to control others will diminish and your happiness will increase.
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