A common myth is that imposed punishments are necessary to change young people’s behavior. In reality, imposed punishment comes out of our desire to control. In contrast, when the desire is to teach and raise responsible citizens, teaching and guidance prevail.
Despite succeeding in stopping irresponsible behavior in some cases, imposed punishments are ineffective with far too many young people as a method for helping them make lasting changes in their behavior. In fact, here are the top 10 problems with using imposed punishments as discipline:
Imposed punishments…
- Are temporary
- Are adult-dependent rather than self-dependent
- Are inconsistently applied
- Are based on avoidance
- Lose their effectiveness over time
- Do nothing to help a young person learn to modify irresponsible behavior
- Foster victimhood thinking
- Promote aggressive behavior, thus leading to further escalation
- Often trigger very sensitive children to retreat into feelings of low self-esteem and self-punishment
- Deprive the youngster of an opportunity to become more responsible
