At a conference of the Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD), a high school principal commented to me as he pointed to hundreds of exhibits of books, technology, and teaching materials around the vast exhibit hall, "None of these address the first and most critical component of classroom teaching: CONNECTING!"
Gordon Neufeld, a Vancouver, Canada based clinical psychologist directly addresses this concept. He speaks about attachment and its necessity for young people to feel attached until they are able to function independently.

Since attachment facilitates dependence, I prefer to use the term "connectedness."

Dr. Neufeld cites an interesting procedure many teachers and parents use with young people. It's called "time-out." He makes the point that this approach sends the message that separation is a more effective teacher than relationships.

Separation is the most wounding of all relationships. Dr. Neufeld refers to separation as being insidious because it is subtle in its harmful effects.

Dr. Neufeld states that oftentimes, if time-out is necessary, it is the adult who needs it because the adult is the one who is bothered or angry.

He suggests using discipline that does not divide or separate. Keeping connected is a foundational characteristic of DisciplineWithoutStress.

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