Weekly Tips

Staying unhappy is very easy. It even comes naturally to some people. Learn a tip that is sure to turn your frown upside-down.

If you are in a funk, it is natural to be unhappy. But when you are in this state and do nothing about it, you are taking the easy way out. Is this in your own best interest?

Abraham Lincoln proclaimed, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” When unhappy or feeling sad, it is a shame to take the easy way out.

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Are you sure you know how to listen well?

Listening and caring are prime sources of good relationships. They are so intertwined that if you experience one, you also experience the other.

If you ask yourself how you know someone cares for you, one of your responses is likely to be that you know because the person listens to you.

Have you ever had a conversation with an emotional person? If you have, you realized the futility. This stress management tip will take the sting out of such future conflicts.

Regardless of age, when an emotionally charged person is seeing red, is angry, or overly obstinate, trying to reason is fruitless.

The smart approach is to take a break.

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Autonomy is a key driver of human behavior in traditional American culture. The most successful people are autonomous and are able to handle stress successfully.

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs referred to autonomy as the level of “self-actualization.” My Hierarchy of Social Development refers to this as Level D, Democracy—taking the initiative to do something that is right regardless of social pressures.

People who only reach Level C, (external motivation) on the Hierarchy of Social Development will never be autonomous because they rely on external motivational sources such as seeking the approval of others and the desire to fit in and be liked by others.

Autonomous people realize that the inner satisfaction received by Level D (internal motivation) is far … >>>

The brain is like a sponge in that they can both retain a lot of dirt. The brain retains a lot of negative thoughts, ideas, and memories. Every now and then they both need to be wrung out.

The ghosts of what we erase on a computer remain deep within the system, electronically etched into the hard drive. Similarly, what goes into the human mind can remain to contaminate it or to enrich it.

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COUNTERWILL—the natural human resistance to being controlled by someone else—is the topic of this stress management video.

The instinctive effect of “counterwill” can take many forms—including disobedience, defiance, reluctance, resistance, rebellion, procrastination, doing the opposite of what is expected, and lack of motivation.

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Although assumptions are necessary, they are often the cause of needless stress. When you understand how your feelings are influenced by your assumptions, you will enter a new stage of stress management.

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The recent actions of North Korea and Iran have many people expressing high anxiety and stress regarding the current conflicts with these two countries. If you are stressed over the situation with North Korea and Iran, allow me to ease your anxiety and stress about them.

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Does the phrase “Failure is NOT an option” stress you out when you want to give up. Well, fear not; this stress management tip won’t fail you!

It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you failed by default.

An urgent task may not be very important in the long run; however, an urgent task may demand immediate attention. In contrast to something urgent, an important task is something that moves you toward your goal.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument, and felt so sure that you were in the right—so much so it stressed you out? Well, rest easy, the next tip has set sail and your ship is about to come in.

Benjamin Franklin offered this advice that not only reduces stress from disappointments but increases effectiveness: “Present your thoughts not as ultimatums but as suggestions to be considered.”

He wrote that he made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions of others and all assertions of his own. He even forbade himself the use of any word or expression that gave an opinion, such as “certainly’’ and “undoubtedly.” Instead he used expressions such as, “I conceive,” and “I imagine” a thing to be so and so.

When someone asserted something that Franklin thought to be in error or wrong, he denied himself the pleasure of contradicting the person even though he knew he was right.

Attempts to control often lead to counterwill—the natural human tendency to resist being controlled. This leads to power struggle, which then lead to more resistance, reluctance, resentment, and even rebellion. Rebellion is NOT inevitability a function of development.

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A man was walking down the street when he came upon three workers at a construction site. All of them were doing the same job. He asked the first worker what he was doing. The worker replied, “Breaking up these rocks.” The man then asked the second worker what he was doing. This worker said, “I’m earning a living.” The man then asked the third worker who responded, “I’m building a cathedral.” Clearly the third worker had a vision. He understood the larger significance of his work.

Dominating another person may feel good, but think of the effect it has on the other person—as well as on yourself. Just as no one likes to be told what to do, no one likes to be dominated. In addition, domination is a close cousin of stress because it raises a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol.