Have you ever found yourself in an argument, and felt so sure that you were in the right—so much so it stressed you out? Well, rest easy, the next tip has set sail and your ship is about to come in.
Benjamin Franklin offered this advice that not only reduces stress from disappointments but increases effectiveness: “Present your thoughts not as ultimatums but as suggestions to be considered.”
He wrote that he made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions of others and all assertions of his own. He even forbade himself the use of any word or expression that gave an opinion, such as “certainly’’ and “undoubtedly.” Instead he used expressions such as, “I conceive,” and “I imagine” a thing to be so and so.
When someone asserted something that Franklin thought to be in error or wrong, he denied himself the pleasure of contradicting the person even though he knew he was right.
Attempts to control often lead to counterwill—the natural human tendency to resist being controlled. This leads to power struggle, which then lead to more resistance, reluctance, resentment, and even rebellion. Rebellion is NOT inevitability a function of development.
… >>>READ MORE >>> →
A man was walking down the street when he came upon three workers at a construction site. All of them were doing the same job. He asked the first worker what he was doing. The worker replied, “Breaking up these rocks.” The man then asked the second worker what he was doing. This worker said, “I’m earning a living.” The man then asked the third worker who responded, “I’m building a cathedral.” Clearly the third worker had a vision. He understood the larger significance of his work.
Dominating another person may feel good, but think of the effect it has on the other person—as well as on yourself. Just as no one likes to be told what to do, no one likes to be dominated. In addition, domination is a close cousin of stress because it raises a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol.… >>>READ MORE >>> →