Blog

Reflect on Your Daily Choices

On July 23, 2015 / Effectiveness

Are you acting REFLEXIVELY or REFLECTIVELY? Consider this scenario: You are at home and the telephone rings. You answer it. Assume for a moment that you are NOT familiar with
choice-response thinking (something discussed at length in various blog posts). If I were to query you why you answered the phone, most would say, in one way or another, that the phone was a stimulus and answering it was the response.

Now, let’s assume that you are at home watching a television program that you had been looking forward to seeing. You are totally engaged in a dramatic scene and the phone rings. Would you disrupt your involvement in the program to answer it?

In this situation, some people would … >>>

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The Best Question to Encourage Learning

On July 21, 2015 / Learning

Asking, “Why?” is an INeffective question when it relates to behavior. For example, the answer to asking a young person, “Why are you doing that?” will prompt answers such as, “I don’t know” or an excuse, such as, “I have ADD.”

In contrast, asking a student, “Why are you LEARNING that?” and receiving a similar response, “I don’t know,” is a reflection on the teacher, not on the student.

Sharing the “why” for something you would like young people to learn is an extremely effective teaching technique for promoting learning and effort. It becomes “purpose driven,” which, in turn,
• prompts self motivation,
• sustains that motivation,
• diminishes resistance, and
• enhances better decisions.

When you reflect on this … >>>

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Teaching Visualization for Classroom management

On July 17, 2015 / Discipline, Learning

Visualizing procedures enhances classroom management. The foundation of effective classroom management is modeling, practicing, and reinforcing procedures. Right-hemisphere oriented students tend to act spontaneously and process randomly. These folks need structure, and helping them visualize procedures may be the best approach to help these students help themselves and enhance their success.

Here is an example how I used visualization to help a student arrive in my classroom on tine.

Mary was consistently late to my second period class. Assigning her detention had little positive affect on having her change her behavior. So I had a conversation with Mary and asked what she customarily did before coming to my class. She told me that she would go to her locker to … >>>

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Chores for Children

On July 16, 2015 / Parenting

Let’s assume your child has a number of things to do and is lackadaisical about doing them. You remind the youngster—to no avail. Time passes. Another reminder is forthcoming with the same result.

Rather than become increasingly stressed, have a chat. The conversation will revolve around those things that are to be done by the youngster. After listing them, establish a procedure for each—VERY SPECIFIC procedures.

For example, if the task is homework, the procedure should list exactly when preparations start, where the activity will take place, what materials will be used, and an understanding that there will be no distractions such as viewing television. If the activity is play of some kind, cleanup time and procedures are also listed.

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Stop Trying to Control Youth

On July 16, 2015 / Discipline, Responsibility

When parents and teachers first learn about the Discipline Without Stress methodology, they often ask me, “What sort of consequence would a child with level ‘A’ (Anarchy) behavior receive?”

The answer to this is in a prime difference between Discipline Without Stress and other approaches. Whether the consequence is referred to as logical or natural, as long as it is IMPOSED it will prompt a negative feeling and, therefore, one of resistance.

Rather than imposing a consequence, ELICIT it. The conversation goes something like, “This behavior is on a level that is simply inappropriate in our classroom (or home), and it is unacceptable. What do you suggest we do so that you will not continue to be a victim of … >>>

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Visioning Exercise for Understanding the Brain

On July 15, 2015 / Learning

Until about 100 years ago no person could ever tell another person the same story. The very best any author could do was to convince readers to tell stories to themselves.

Complete this short exercise and you will see how it works:

A cowboy is on the open range riding a horse. Suddenly, the horse sees a snake. The horse jumps and the rider is thrown off the horse.

Here are a few questions for you:

In what direction was the horse riding?
What time of the day was it?
In what location did this occur?
What color and kind of a horse was the rider on?
Was the rider wearing a hat?

Your imagination conjured up the scene. You … >>>

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Discipline in Schools for Students Who Are Irresponsible

On July 14, 2015 / Discipline

A teacher wrote me that she has a few students who don’t want to acknowledge their irresponsible behaviors. She said that it usually results in their being late for their next class due to the personal conversation she has with them before they leave her class. She asked, “What do I do with these stuents who don’t want to cooperate?”

Here is my response to Teresa:

Have a quick individual conversation with each student and ask, “If you had the possibility of choosing a leader for the class, whom would you choose? Name a second person.”

I would then compile the names from these students. Then, I would have a conversation with the person who was chosen the most number … >>>

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Positivity and Your Future

On July 14, 2015 / Effectiveness

Did you know that as we grow older, our character traits become more ingrained? It’s true. In fact, they become even more pronounced. For example, a sweet person becomes sweeter, while a disagreeable person becomes a real crank in old age.

So what does this mean for you today? It means that the attitudes and traits you are planting now will take root and become rigid habits later in life. Therefore, it’s important to make a commitment to live a daily life of good cheer, optimism, and gratitude. Whatever choices you make today will serve you well later in life.

Plant happy seeds and enjoy today—and many, many tomorrow.

For tips on how to be more positive, see the books … >>>

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Charter Schools and Discipline

On July 13, 2015 / Discipline, Learning

Charter schools were conceived as an alternative to underperforming public schools. These schools allowed educators and entrepreneurs to ignore bureaucratic systems that are so prevalent in public schools. Charter schools were allowed to develop experimental teaching models so long as they were accountable for the results.

Today more than 2.3 million K-12 students are enrolled in over 6000 charters schools operated in the United States.

One major advantage of charter schools was its potential for creativity by, in large part, eliminating the amount of paper work that public schools required for innovation or doing anything not approved by the bureaucracy.

This allowability for creativity appears to be in n danger. For instance, of the eight schools that applied for charters … >>>

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How to Write an Acknowledgement As an Incentive

On July 10, 2015 / Parenting

Acknowledgments encourage and motivate. They serve to give recognition without the disadvantages of praise. Praise has a price. It implies a lack of acceptance and worth when the youth does not behave as the adult wishes. Using a phrase which starts with, “I like . . . .” encourages a young person to behave in order to please the adult. By contrast, acknowledgment simply affirms and fosters self-satisfaction.

Notice the difference in the following examples, first of praise followed by acknowledgment. “I am so pleased with the way you treated your brother,” versus “You treated your brother with real consideration.” “I like the way you are working,” versus “Your working shows good effort.” “I’m so proud of you for … >>>

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Competition in Schools between Students

On July 9, 2015 / Learning, Relationships

Imagine the teacher standing in front of the class and asking a question. Six to ten children strain in their seats and with their hands in the teachers face, eager to be called on and show how smart they are. Several others sit quietly with eyes averted, trying to become invisible.

When the teacher calls on only one youngster, you can almost hear sounds of disappointment and can see looks of dismay on the faces of the eager students who missed a chance to get the teacher’s approval. You also see relief on the faces of the others who did not know the answer. The game is fiercely competitive and the stakes are high because the kids are competing for … >>>

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Kids Education for Learning Responsibility

On July 8, 2015 / Parenting

While browsing through a thrift store, I picked up a book that a good friend had mentioned to me. Seeing it for sale at 50¢, I had no excuse not to pick it up. I’m so glad I did; it’s a great read!

The Happiness Project describes the year-long program that author, Gretchen Rubin, designed for herself in an effort to become more appreciative of the good life she already had.

To quote the book cover:

At one point [Gretchen] realized that time was flashing by and and she wasn’t thinking enough about the things that really mattered. “I should have a happiness project,” she decided. She spent the next year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies,

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

An Online Explanation of Discipline Without Stress

On July 8, 2015 / Discipline

Dr. Marshall recently brought teacher attention to a youtube lecture highlighting the third part of his Discipline without Stress Teaching Model, The Raise Responsibility System.

As many university instructors do these days, Joe Jerles posted this classroom management lecture online so that his students could access his teaching easily and repeatedly for study purposes.

He is teaching from the textbook, Effective Classroom Management by Carlette Jackson Hardin. Chapter 9 of the book deals specifically with Dr. Marshall’s Discipline without Stress approach.

Joe Jerles’ youtube presentation may also be of interest to those of you interested in learning more about the Discipline without Stress approach.

Dr. Marshall points out a few things to notice while viewing the video:

Even

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Lord of the Flies and Levels of Development

On July 8, 2015 / Discipline, Levels of Development

My blog of June 2, 2015 was on “Restorative Justice,” a discipline program being used by many urban schools because of the federal mandate to reduce the number of minority students being disciplined and suspended. I quote from an article about Restorative Justice: “The administration welcomes this ‘Lord of the Flies’ scenario.”

Here is little background about the “Lord of the Flies,” the title of a book that the article refers to along with information about the author.

William Golding was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1983 for his novels that “illuminate the human condition in the world of today.” He will probably be remembered primarily for his first novel, “Lord of the Flies,” a dark and disturbing

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Remove Barriers to Help Youth Achieve Goals

On July 8, 2015 / Effectiveness

We all want our children and students to achieve goals in school and in life. To help, many adults pressure children to do things (e.g. fill out that college application, do your homework, practice the piano, etc.). However, a better approach is to remove barriers to achieve goals rather than pressure people to achieve them.

Adults resort to pressure because that’s typically what occurs in the work world. When leaders are not happy with people who report to them, they add pressure. But the really astute leaders know that instead of adding pressure, a more successful approach is to ask what are the barriers that are keeping people from doing their best. If you think back to some of your … >>>

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Positivity Promotes Responsibility

On July 7, 2015 / Responsibility

Positivity (conscious optimism) induces responsibility. For everyone, including children, a positive attitude begins between the ears.

In fact, the most important thing people can control is their state of mind. A state of mind is something that one assumes. It cannot be purchased. It must be created.

Therefore, thinking and acting responsibly (or irresponsibly) begins with how a person shapes their own thoughts and communicates with others.

As leaders, teachers, and parents, we have an obligation to help young people shape and control their thoughts so that their impulses and tendency to blame and complain don’t control them. That’s when they will feel empowered to take responsibility for their actions and choices.

What techniques have you used with children that … >>>

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Disciplining Children by Asking Rather than Telling

On July 6, 2015 / Discipline, Parenting

No one likes to be told what to do. Think of a time when someone told you what to do or told you that you had to do something. Notice how it conjures up a negative emotion. I grew up with a friend who, when told what to do by a parent, would find an excuse not to do it. Even if it was something he wanted to do, such as going outside to play, he would find an excuse to stay indoors just because he was told.

Depending upon the other person’s mental frame at the time, when we tell a person what to do—regardless of how admirable our intentions —the message is often perceived either as an attempt … >>>

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School Discipline Testimonial about Stress and Coercion

On July 3, 2015 / Discipline

I’m a 9th grade high school teacher in Long Beach, California. Most of us grew up with the old “rules and consequences” model, so I naturally followed it when I became a teacher 21 years ago. I don’t know whether our culture changed, or the kids changed, or I changed. But apparently no one ever told my students that bad behavior should be punished.

It’s like many of them are totally foreign to the concept. Why? I don’t know. But I was very tired of the stress that comes from running a coercive classroom. It was draining and depressing. Yet whenever the old “rewards and punishment” model seemed to be ineffective, I would double down on it. All I got … >>>

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