Parenting

QUESTION:

I have 2 sons, 13 and  15. They fight all the time! It’s not just a punch here, and a shove there; it escalates to a down and out brawl. My older son tells me I favor the younger. I try to be fair, but my older son just likes to “pick, pick, pick” at the younger one, and my younger son has a quick fire temper. He just can’t ignore the “picking.” He retaliates.

When they both tell me how a fight started, they each have a different story. Whom do I believe?

How can I stop the fighting, and how can I make them respect me again?

The stress of these daily fights is affecting my health. … >>>

I believe most theories about the stress and strain of adolescence have focused incorrectly on such factors as physical changes, emerging sexuality, new social demands, struggles between being a child and an adult, and other such reasons.

This period is difficult for both youth and parents largely because adolescents become so independent of parents that controlling them is difficult. Attempts at continual control often lead to a reluctance to do what the parent wishes, which in turn leads to a power struggle, resulting in even more reluctance, resentment, and rebellion.

parents assume that adolescent rebellion and hostility are an inevitable function of this stage of development. However, I believe the real reason is that these young people become more able to resist parental power. Many adolescents behave as they do because … >>>

QUESTION:
My problem is my 21 year old son who has been on a downward spiral for three years. He came home after a half a year away at college with only one credit. Then he enrolled full time at college in our hometown the following school year and failed. The following school year we told him he had to work full time and take a part-time class. He withdrew from the class near the end and never told us!

He is now sleeping all day and working for a charity part-time, 5-9, when he wants to go in (not often). He is also the lead singer for a band with a bunch of college students. They practice a few times a week. They make no money because anything they … >>>

There is an increasing tendency for misguided parents to be “authentic” by informing their children that Santa Claus does not exist.

Make believe and pretending are integral parts of childhood.

Reflect: Has the tooth fairy, the elves on St. Patrick’s day, or Santa Claus ever hurt anyone?

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.… >>>

QUESTION:

This is an embarrassing situation for me. I have a strange problem with my son that I have never heard about before. He is fifteen years old and has been stealing my clothes or his sister’s clothing and cutting them up into little pieces with scissors or cutting our underwear into a thong. We have had him seeing a psychiatric therapist for over a year, with no resolution to this problem. He seems to do this without any warning or reason. I can’t link it to anger at us, although he may just not be expressing his anger. It seems like an act of anger. He doesn’t talk or express his emotions much at all.

I have required him … >>>

Andrew Carnegie, the first great industrialist in America, once was observed as having 43 millionaires working for him. A reporter asked him how he had managed to hire so many millionaires. Carnegie answered that none of them were millionaires when he hired them.

The reporter inquired, “Then what did you do to develop them so that they became
millionaires? "

“You develop people the same way you mine gold,” Carnegie explained. “You go into a gold mine and you expect to remove tons of dirt to find an ounce of gold. But you don’t go into the mine looking for the dirt; you go in there looking for the gold.”

—page 26 from the book, parenting Without Stress.… >>>

UNTIL December 31, to order the book described at  parenting Without Stress.org AND receive a special 50% pre-publication discount ($14.99) on the 280-page $29.97 laminated hardbound book, click on the "ORDER NOW" link.

You will have an opportunity to receive the discount for single or multiple copies.
Books will be delivered shortly after the first of the year.… >>>