People often ask, “Does the Discipline Without Stress model really reduce stress? How is this possible?”
Here’s my usual reply:
None of the three phases of this discipline approach—teaching, asking, or eliciting—prompts stress on the part of the teacher (or the student).
When a student misbehaves, the USUAL discipline approach is to tell, threaten, and/or punish. Each of these approaches is coercive and often results in some resistance. When a student does not obey, stress and aggravation escalate.
Discipline Without Stress is proactive in that four levels of social development are TAUGHT. This automatically sets the teacher up to use simple cognitive learning theory: teaching (first phase) and then checking for understanding (second phase).
Reference is always made to the LEVEL of social development, not the student. This automatically separates the act from the actor—the deed from the doer—thereby eliminating a student’s usual urge to self-defend.
When a student chooses an inappropriate behavior, the student is ASKED to identify the self-chosen level. When asking a simple question in a calm tone of voice—as a counselor does—no one becomes stressed. Discipline is treated as a learning opportunity.
When a youngster continues to act in an inappropriate way, a consequence is ELICITED, rather than imposed. Discipline Without Stress prevents an adversarial power-struggle that often results in stress.
