If you look around at your family and friends, you will see that the happiest people are the ones who don’t pretend to know what’s right for others and don’t try to control anyone but themselves.
You will further see that the people who are most miserable are those who are always trying to control others. Even if they have a lot of power, the constant resistance in some form by the weaker people they are trying to control, deprives them of happiness.
If you try to control a friend, the friendship will be short-lived. Yet, sometimes we try to control those who are most dear to us. If we don’t use a controlling approach with friends because it would strain relationships, we might want to ponder whether using controlling approaches with those we really want to influence will be effective.
The fact of the matter is that you will rarely, if ever, solve a relationship problem by trying to make other people see that you are right and they are wrong.
On the other hand, you have probably never heard someone say, “I’m having a problem with what you are doing and I think I have to change what I do or we’ll never solve the problem.”
Yet, that IS the secret for improving relationships. Just keep it a secret! It’s not necessary to say it out loud, but it is essential to THINK IT.
In any relationship, rather than attempting to correct or control the other person, simply ask yourself, “What can I do to improve this situation?” The result of YOUR decision to change what YOU do will create an option—one that will be so much more effective in influencing the other person than any attempt to control.
