Excerpt from Improving Relationships:
As you’ve undoubtedly noticed, no two children (or adults for that matter) are the same. Each individual, young or old, views the world differently, interacts with others in a distinctive way, and processes information uniquely.
Differences are good. It would be boring if everyone acted, behaved, and thought the same way. But sometimes, interacting with people who are vastly different from you (as with many parent/child relationships) can be stressful.
Noticing behavioral styles among people is nothing new. The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung was the first to categorize behavioral styles. Jung postulated that every individual develops a primacy in one of four major behavioral functions: intuiting, thinking, feeling, and sensing. If you and others operate from different behavioral styles, friction and stress can easily result.
Realize, though, that no style is good or bad, right or wrong. There is not one style that is better or worse than another; they are simply different.
You can discern children’s styles by watching them and examining how they process experiences. In the PARENTING WITHOUT STRESS PERSONALITY BEHAVIOR STYLES ASSESSMENT we use the four style descriptions of Thinker, Feeler, Doer, and Relater. Visualize a directional scale with a thinker in the north, a feeler in the south, a doer in the west, and a relater in the east.