In order to live your best life, it’s necessary to challenge your assumptions from time to time. Assumptions are beliefs you take for granted. They are so natural and involuntary they usually do not enter your consciousness. The fact is that you make assumptions every day. Some assumptions are helpful and make living life easier. For example, you assume that when you get out of bed, the floor will be beneath you. Or, you assume that when you mail a letter, the intended recipient will receive it.
However, there are also assumptions you make that may not be valid. For example, you may assume that someone is angry with you by the manner in which that person speaks to you. … >>> READ MORE >>> →
When you eliminate your assumptions, you greatly reduce anxiety. Although assumptions are necessary, they are often the cause of needless stress and anxiety. When you understand how assumptions influence your feelings, you will enter a new stage of stress management.
For example, let’s say that you learn that you will have a meeting with your supervisor later in the day. You can assume the meeting will be discouraging, or you can assume it will be encouraging. If you assume you will be discouraged after the meeting, and you are not, you will have fretted for nothing. With the opposite assumption, if you believe the meeting will bring you good news and it does not, you will be disappointed. No matter … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Although assumptions are necessary, they often are the cause of needless stress.
On a recent Saturday morning, my wife drove to a medical laboratory, having read in the laboratory’s booklet that it would be open Saturdays. After arriving at the laboratory, she discovered that it was closed; there had been a misprint in the medical directory.
If she had been aware that she made an assumption, she might have made a phone call to the laboratory, found that it was not open, and saved herself time and energy.
Assumptions are beliefs taken for granted. They are so natural and involuntary that they usually do not enter our consciousness. However, once we understand that we are making an assumption, we can … >>> READ MORE >>> →
In my books and my speaking, I often refer to assumptions and inferences. On the surface, these two things seem to be identical, but there are some subtle differences. Today I’d like to clarify what they are.
An assumption is something we take for granted or presuppose. In the teaching profession, for example, too many teachers assume that students know what the teacher wants the students to do—without the teacher actually teaching how to do it. Likewise, parents may assume that it is important for their children to get good grades in school. But their children may not have the same assumption. Good grades are important to some students but not for all. Or, a wife may assume that her … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Some of the decisions we make as parents are based on inaccurate assumptions. We may know exactly what we are thinking and what we mean, but the child may have a completely different perspective. Consider these two examples:
A father is walking through the forest with his three-year old daughter. As they are walking, he repeatedly tells her to stay on the path. The little girl is walking all around. She looks at a tree, then a bush, and meanders here and there. The father continually says, “Stay on the path. I told you to stay on the path.” Eventually, he gets so angry with her that he pulls her over, shakes her a bit, and shouts, “I told you
… >>> READ MORE >>> →