Coercion isn’t always recognizable. In fact, we all engage is subtle and not-so-subtle forms of coercion every day. Can you recognize coercion in your day-to-day activities?
Here is a simple example.
My wife was viewing the first ten minutes of a movie on TV and was so enthralled with it that she pressed the “record” button and then stopped viewing the program. She announced that she looked forward to sharing the movie with me and told me that she was saving it until such time as we could watch it together.
When that time came around, her enthusiasm pitched even higher. However, as she turned on the recording and the synopsis of the movie was shown, I found that I … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Counterwill causes stress, and counterwill is something we all experience at some time in our lives. What is counterwill? Counterwill is the name for the natural human resistance to being controlled.
Adults as well as young people experience counterwill. Perhaps it’s no surprise that counterwill is the most misunderstood and misinterpreted dynamic in child-parent and teacher-student relationships.
This instinctive resistance to force can take many forms:
- Refusal to do what is asked
- Reluctance and resistance when being told
- Disobedience or defiance
- Lack of motivation to do what the adult desires the young person to do
Counterwill can also manifest itself in procrastination or in doing the opposite of what is expected. It can be expressed as passivity, negativity, oppositional defiance, … >>> READ MORE >>> →
What is the best way to influence people? Every day of your life you are influencing others in some way. But which way is best? Here are common ways to influence people:
- Using coercion or force.
Threat or punishment is the approach here. This works as long as the threat is more powerful than the desire to resist it.
- Offering an incentive or reward.
With young people, the incentives are generally those that appeal for immediate satisfaction, rather than to those that build responsible character development and mature values. This approach is commonly used in homes and schools to get the young to do what the adult wants. It promotes a mindset of “What will I get for doing it?”
… >>> READ MORE >>> →
Many parents rely on outdated discipline techniques—such as imposed punishments and rewards—in an attempt to change their child’s behavior. But does discipline really change how a person acts?
The answer is “no.” Consider these two basic facts of life:
- Any control of another person is temporary.
- Attempting to control another person is really an attempt to change that person.
- Although you can control others, you cannot change anyone but yourself.
As long as parents believe they can change their child, they’ll have a natural tendency to employ force or coercion, especially when the young person doesn’t do what the parent wants. But the fact is that you can’t change others. You can only change yourself.
Certainly, a parent can use … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Coercion isn’t always recognizable.
The other night my wife was viewing the first ten minutes of a movie on TV. She was so enthralled with it that she pressed the “record” button on the DVR and then stopped viewing the program. She wanted to share the movie with me and said that she was saving it until a time when we could watch it together.
When that time came around, her enthusiasm pitched even higher. However, as she turned on the recording and the synopsis of the movie aired, I quickly realized that I had no interest in the show. My wife was so surprised and disappointed that she reiterated her desire to share it and the fact that she … >>> READ MORE >>> →