For many people, happiness seems like something elusive and unattainable. But if you look around at your family, friends, and co-workers, you will see that the happiest people are the ones who don’t pretend to know what’s right for others. They also don’t try to control anyone but themselves.
You will further see that the people who are most miserable are those who are always trying to control others. Even if they have considerable power, the constant resistance in some form by the people they are trying to control promotes stress, hinders optimum relationships, and greatly diminishes the happiness of everyone involved.
If you try to control others, you will be met with constant challenges. If you try to control … >>> READ MORE >>> →
One of the best ways to reduce stress is to gain control of various areas of your life. Of course, you can’t control everything, but there are probably many things you can take control of, rather than letting others dictate what you must do. Why is control so important to being able to reduce stress?
In a classic study, scientists put two rats in a cage, each of them locked in a running wheel. The first rat could exercise whenever he liked. The second was yoked to the first and forced to run when his counterpart did.
Exercise usually does reduce stress and encourage neuron growth, and indeed, the first rat’s brain bloomed with new cells. The second rat, however, … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Offering choices raises responsibility because it is related to the issue of control. A person who makes choices gains control, and having control is a requirement for taking responsibility. Choice, control, and responsibility are inseparable:
Make a choice, and control is enhanced.
Fail to choose, and control is diminished.
Deny responsibility, and control is given up.
Choose responsibility, and control increases.
Here is an example shared with me by a friend who understood the basic need of all humans—of any age—to feel some sense of control over their lives.
My elderly mother was recovering from a very difficult surgery. Because of her weakened condition, she had lost her ability to walk and there was doubt about whether she would be
… >>> READ MORE >>> →