Posts Tagged Noncoersion

How to Sell Your Ideas to Others

On July 29, 2021 / Effectiveness, Leadership

If you want people to do something, you have to sell your ideas to them. Whether you want your child to clean their room, a co-worker to pitch in more, or even your boss to implement a new strategy, being able to sell your ideas is crucial.

Unfortunately, most people resort to telling or even yelling during these times. And those are the least effective ways to elicit real change or action in others. The good news is that there are three time-tested approaches for putting your ideas across that arouse interest and enthusiasm. So if you want to sell your ideas to others in a way that doesn’t alienate or come across as being bossy, here are three strategies … >>>

Before You Discipline, Check Your Mental Position

On May 8, 2013 / Discipline, Parenting

When disciplining a child, only a noncoercive approach is effective. And the first step to being noncoercive is mental positioning.

When practicing any skill, putting yourself in position always precedes the action. This is as true when disciplining as it is when holding a golf club before the swing, holding a baseball bat before the pitch arrives, shooting a basketball, holding a tennis racquet, or playing any musical instrument. Therefore, the first step is placing yourself in a mental stance to employ noncoercion.

The mental stance should be one of curiosity, helpfulness, and kindness. Why? Because you do not shout to be noncoercive. Your tone of voice communicates at least as much as your words. Even a horse understands this, … >>>

The Power of Not Using Imposed Punishments

On April 17, 2013 / Effectiveness, Parenting

Self-punishment is the worst type and the most severe. Unfortunately, imposed punishment is too often used for those who don’t need it. These children will respond without punitive action. Kahlil Gibran makes the point when he asks, “And how shall you punish those whose remorse is already greater than their misdeeds?”

All too often, the assumption is made that punishment is the only successful course of action to immediately halt inappropriate behavior. The paradox is that noncoercion can be far more effective than coercion. This point is brought home when we expect punishment but do not receive it. In such cases, we often remember the experience more than if we had been punished.

For example, a friend related a … >>>