Posts Tagged promoting responsibility

Modeling Responsibility

Regardless of the character trait—whether it be self-control, respect, kindness, tolerance, fairness, honesty, empathy, integrity or any other—every trait relies on responsibility. No positive character trait can exist without it. In addition, none can be mandated or given.

These traits are not inborn. They need to be learned. This requires teaching.

Part I of the Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model is the foundation for promoting responsibility. WHEN WE OMIT TEACHING AND PRACTICING PROCEDURES, WE ARE ACTUALLY DEPRIVING YOUNG PEOPLE OF THE OPPORTUNITY TO BECOME MORE RESPONSIBLE.

Following is a good classroom management checklist for schools. DO YOUR STUDENTS KNOW:
• How to enter your classroom quietly?
• What they should do right after the bell rings?
• How to pass … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Promote Responsibility with Small Steps

Although fear is usually just negative self-talk about a perceived situation, there are times when it is most difficult to think that it is not real. So rather than attempting to eradicate your fear, warm up to it.

We can learn from our children. Children don’t say, “I can’t because I’m afraid.” For example, a youngster will get on a high diving board and dive off even though she has never done it before. She’ll run to the parent with a great smile, and the parent will ask, “Weren’t you afraid?” She’ll respond, “Yes, I was afraid; I was really scared.”

But a grown-up won’t do the same thing. If you say to a grown-up, “Are you going to dive … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Switching from Imposing Discipline to Promoting Responsibility

No one has an inherent desire to obey—to be told what to do—not even children. However, when responsibility is promoted, obedience follows as a natural by-product.

Of course, learning how to promote responsibility in others takes practice and patience. Going from the mindset of imposing discipline to one of promoting positivity, asking reflective questions, and offering guides choices takes time. No matter how long you’ve been teaching, making the switch to the new methodology will be fraught with ups and downs. The key is to be persistent, no matter how many setbacks you encounter.

To illustrate how unrealistic it is to expect yourself to make an overnight transformation in your approach, consider this story:

A rich woman walked up to … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Limited versus Unlimited Choices

Offering youngsters choices is a key part of Parenting Without Stress. The choices parents offer can be either “limited” or “unlimited.”

Limited choices allow the child to select from a restricted number of options offered by the parent, whereas in unlimited choices, the child is encouraged to come up with an option of his or her own. Generally, the younger the child, the more limited the choices. For example, “Do you want cereal or an egg for breakfast?” would be a limited choice, while “What do you want for breakfast?” would be unlimited and more appropriate as children mature. However, if the response to an unlimited question is not practical, the choices can again be limited.

In situations when … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Some Insights on the Raise Responsibility System

The strategy used in the Raise Responsibility System differs from other approaches in a number of significant ways. First, the system starts with Stephen Covey’s first habit of highly effective people: Be proactive. The idea is to set the stage for dealing with disruptive behaviors before they occur. This is in contrast to the usual reactive strategy of dealing with disruptive behaviors after they occur.

Second, neither rewards nor punishments (or “consequences,” which also are viewed as negative) are used. Authority, when necessary, is used without punishment.

Third, a guiding approach, rather than a telling approach, is used, because the most effective way to change behavior is to provide conditions under which behavior change is self-motivated. Self-evaluation is the most … >>>

READ MORE >>>

One Trick for Helping Children Develop Self-Discipline

Self-disciplined people make a point to think before they act or speak. They think about where each particular choice will lead—to something positive or negative. They think ahead to see if they are going to be satisfied with the consequence that a particular choice will bring. If they are satisfied, they go ahead in that direction. If not, they think again and choose to act or speak differently—in a way that will bring a consequence that they can more happily accept. So, how do you help a child become more self-disciplined? The key is to hone the skill of asking reflective questions—questions that prompt the child to think. It’s not necessary for the youngster to tell the parent what … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Promote Responsibility by Asking for Assistance

Just as no one can place knowledge or wisdom into the head of another, no one can make another person responsible. Although responsibility can be delegated, it does not become effective until taken. A much-overlooked opportunity is for young people to help parents.

In former generations, the parents were the center of the household and children were expected to assist in the running of that household. Very often in today’s family, the emphasis is on giving to children, rather than on the children doing the giving.

An effective way for parents to gain respect and assistance is to refrain from doing some favors for their youngsters and let their youngsters perform services for them. A simple way to do this … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Positivity, Choice, and Reflection in a Nutshell

Positivity, choice, and reflection are to be fed. They reduce stress, increase parental effectiveness, and improve relationships. Why? Here’s a brief synopsis of each.

  • Negative comments prompt negative feelings. Positive comments engender positive feelings and responsible behavior. Parents who are effective in influencing their children to positive actions phrase their communications in positive terms. Positivity creates an atmosphere in which children feel valued, supported, respected, motivated, capable, and proud.
  • Either consciously or nonconsciously, people are always choosing how to respond to any situation, stimulus, or impulse. Teaching young people about choice-response thinking—that they never need think of themselves as victims—is one of the most valuable thinking patterns we can give them. This type of thinking teaches the difference between
>>> READ MORE >>>

2 Simple Techniques to Promote Responsibility

At times children—and especially adolescents—will not like what is required of them and will act as if they do not like their parents. Remarks such as, “You don’t understand,” or “I’m the only one who has to,” or “I’ll die if you don’t let me,” are attempts to have the parent relent and say “Yes” when the parent knows it is really best not to allow what the youth desires.

In these situations, the parent should focus on what is best for the youngster in the long run. However, in the process, the child needs to understand the reasons for the decision.

A simple technique to employ when a “No” needs to be given is to place the challenge … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Choices Improve Behavior

Choices are a critical component of fostering responsibility and influencing behavior. The reason is that choice brings ownership; it fosters a sense of independence and also empowers. Offering options engages a youngster in cooperation and is much more effective than giving commands. 

The choices can be limited, but the sooner a young person starts to make choices, to exercise decision making, the more responsible the youngster becomes. Of course, the choices must be ones that satisfy both parties. Suppose a youngster is asked to suggest a chore he will do. If the chore the youngster offers is not satisfactory, then the parent asks, “What else?” The same two words “What else?” “What else?” are repeated until both parties agree. Offering … >>>

READ MORE >>>

To Eliminate Discipline Challenges, Teach Procedures

A major mistaken assumption many parents make is that a youngster knows how to do something without the parent’s first modeling, teaching, practicing, and sometimes reinforcing the activity or procedure. A simple example is requesting a youngster to put dirty dishes in the sink. Taking the time to teach the youngster a procedure for how to rinse the dishes and utensils and where to place them can prevent future frustrations.

Another common example is that children often need to take certain items to school each day. To help a child, the parent might typically say, “Remember to take your lunch,” or “Remember to take your key.” But rather than the parent’s having the responsibility of reminding the child, the family … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Homework: Whose Responsibility is It?

School has started in many areas (and will start very soon everywhere else). This is the time of year when Dr. Marshall gets many questions from teachers and parents about homework—specifically how to handle a child who simply refuses to do homework.

Many times the question comes in after the adult has asked the child reflective questions and has spoken to him/her positively about the matter. Often, the youth is also well aware of the various levels of The Hierarchy of Social Development and knows where his/her behavior falls when refusing to do the homework.

So what’s the solution?

According to Dr. Marshall, no one can force another person to learn. The person needs to be motivated. If there is … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Classroom Management for Middle and Secondary Schools

THE CLEARING HOUSE –  Volume 79 Number 1 (Pages 51 – 54)

In an attempt to provide ideas and ways to make middle and secondary schools physically and psychologically safe, we asked a number of experts to write articles for this special symposium edition of The Clearing House. Rather than prescribing specific writing topics, we asked the authors to share their beliefs on what contributes to classroom management and to making middle and secondary schools safe.

—M. Lee Manning, Professor and Eminent Scholar and Katherine T Bucher, Professor—both with the Department of Educational Curriculum and Instruction, Old Dominion University, Norfolk, Virginia – Guest Editors, page 5


Discipline without Stress®
Punishments or Rewards

 by Marvin Marshall

This article may be … >>>

READ MORE >>>

Promoting Positivity, Choice, And Reflection:

      These three simple practices can make school a place where teachers and students want to be.

By Marvin Marshall

Originally published in Leadership Magazine by the Association of California School Administrators – Vol. 34, No.5, pp. 28-30

Theme:
How to Champion A Positive Learning Climate


No student comes to school with the deliberate intention of failing or getting into trouble. Similarly, no adult enters the teaching profession with the intention of not being successful or not enjoying it. Yet, the profession loses fifty percent of its new teachers within five years and a rapidly growing number of students are demonstrating irresponsible behavior.

This article describes three simple practices that foster positive school climates—where both teachers and students want to be.… >>>

READ MORE >>>

Promoting Positivity, Choice, And Reflection

These three simple practices can make school a place where teachers and students want to be.

By Marvin Marshall

Originally published in Leadership Magazine by the Association of California School Administrators – Vol. 34, No.5, pp. 28-30

Theme:
How to Champion A Positive Learning Climate


No student comes to school with the deliberate intention of failing or getting into trouble. Similarly, no adult enters the teaching profession with the intention of not being successful or not enjoying it. Yet, the profession loses fifty percent of its new teachers within five years and a rapidly growing number of students are demonstrating irresponsible behavior.

This article describes three simple practices that foster positive school climates—where both teachers and students want to be.… >>>

READ MORE >>>

How To Create A Learning Community

A learning community is a place where teachers and students want to be and where teachers and students have positive feelings about what they are doing.

At the conclusion of a recent school staff development program, a teacher wrote the following comments on the evaluation form:
 
What I liked most: This program makes us look at ourselves as well as the children whom we touch each day.

What I liked least: I didn’t like what I saw in me.

 
This teacher (1) acknowledged the use of negative interactions with students, and (2) the teacher reflected and self-evaluated. She had discovered two of the three overriding practices in creating and maintaining a community of learners. The three practices are the continual
>>> READ MORE >>>

How to Discipline without Stress® Punishment or Rewards & Promote Responsibility

Irresponsible behavior is a major problem for, teachers, parents and society.
Rewards, punishments, and telling don’t work with far too many young people.

Myths:

Rewards motivate young people to be responsible.

They don’t. The bribe becomes the focus, not responsibility. In addition, we are not honest with young people when we give them rewards for expected standards of behavior. Society does not give such rewards.

Punishments are necessary to change young people’s behavior.

Punishments satisfy the punisher but have little lasting effect on the punished. If punishment such as detention worked, why do the same students appear again and again? Once the punishment is over, the person has served the time and relinquished responsibility. Punishments engender enmity, not responsibility.

Young

>>> READ MORE >>>

An Interview about Where We Are Going – Part II

This is the second part in a series of interviews about “Where We Are Going” with Michael F. Shaughnessy of Eastern New Mexico University.

QUESTION:
I have enjoyed your Oliver Wendell Holmes story about the issue as to where we are going. With all this emphasis on Annual Yearly Progress and the re-authorization of No Child Left Behind (NCLB) , where indeed are we heading? Can you tell us the story to set the context for this interview?

RESPONSE:

As the train conductor made his way down the aisle collecting tickets, the forgetful Oliver Wendell Holmes saw him coming. The Associate Justice reached into his pocket—first into one, then into another, then into a third pocket. When the conductor arrived … >>>

READ MORE >>>