Telling the Truth < WithoutStress.com

Telling the truth may not be comfortable, it may not make you look your best, but it’s a sure way to good relationships.

Telling the truth may not be comfortable, it may not make you

look your best, but it’s a sure way to good relationships.

I like the way one wealthy individual told the truth. He was

asked how he had amassed a huge fortune. He said, “It was really

quite simple. I bought an apple for five cents, spent the evening

polishing it and sold it the next day for ten cents. With this, I

bought two apples, spent the evening polishing them, and sold

them for twenty cents. And so it went until I had amassed $1.60.

It was then that my wife’s father died and left us a million

dollars.”

The man told the truth. He didn’t glamorize the process. He

didn’t “stretch” the truth for a little extra impact. This man

simply told the truth–which is what you’ve got to tell if you

aspire to have good relationships with others.

The strange thing is that the truth always comes out anyway–and

it may just as well come from you.

A corollary of telling the truth is admitting mistakes.

Unfortunately, most cultures discourage people from admitting

mistakes. Instead, burying mistakes is the modus operandi. Unless

the culture encourages openness and its cousins, truth and

honesty, then mistakes are often repeated–not necessarily by you

but by others.

Alan Zimmerman tells the story of Katie Paine, founder and CEO of

the Delahaye Group. She instituted the “Mistake of the Month

Club.” She reported, “Several years ago, I overslept and missed a

flight to a big client meeting. I walked into my next staff

meeting, plunked $50 down on the table, and said, ‘If you can top

this mistake, that money is yours.'”

Katie continued, “People started to own up to mistakes, and

suddenly we had a flood of them. At every staff meeting since,

we’ve set aside 30 minutes to write up the mistake of the month

on a white board. Then we cast a vote. Since 1989 we’ve recorded

more than 2000 mistakes. Once a mistake hits the white board, it

tends not to happen again. It has become a bonding ritual. Once

you’ve gone through it, you’re a member of the club.”

Admitting your mistakes take guts. But that’s how responsibility

and trust are built. Truthfulness is the foundation that makes

for both improved relationships and increased effectiveness.

I like the way one wealthy individual told the truth. He was asked how he had amassed a huge fortune. He said, “It was really quite simple. I bought an apple for five cents, spent the evening polishing it and sold it the next day for ten cents. With this, I bought two apples, spent the evening polishing them, and sold them for twenty cents. And so it went until I had amassed $1.60. It was then that my wife’s father died and left us a million dollars.”

The man told the truth. He didn’t glamorize the process. He didn’t “stretch” the truth for a little extra impact. This man simply told the truth—which is what you’ve got to tell if you aspire to have good relationships with others.

The strange thing is that the truth always comes out anyway—and it may just as well come from you.

A corollary of telling the truth is admitting mistakes. Unfortunately, most cultures discourage people from admitting mistakes. Instead, burying mistakes is the modus operandi. Unless the culture encourages openness and its cousins, truth and honesty, then mistakes are often repeated—not necessarily by you but by others.

Alan Zimmerman tells the story of Katie Paine, founder and CEO of the Delahaye Group. She instituted the “Mistake of the Month Club.” She reported, “Several years ago, I overslept and missed a flight to a big client meeting. I walked into my next staff meeting, plunked $50 down on the table, and said, ‘If you can top this mistake, that money is yours.'”

Katie continued, “People started to own up to mistakes, and suddenly we had a flood of them. At every staff meeting since, we’ve set aside 30 minutes to write up the mistake of the month on a white board. Then we cast a vote. Since 1989 we’ve recorded more than 2000 mistakes. Once a mistake hits the white board, it tends not to happen again. It has become a bonding ritual. Once you’ve gone through it, you’re a member of the club.”

Admitting your mistakes take guts. But that’s how responsibility and trust are built. Truthfulness is the foundation that makes for both improved relationships and increased effectiveness.

On November 21, 2009 / Relationships