Rather than having students work in isolation on a project or problem, instill learning and working communities that collaborate. To foster the discipline of collaboration, here is a simple technique to try: Have students volunteer to relate something that SOMEONE ELSE has done successfully. Then decide on how often this activity should be conducted, such as weekly or monthly. You’ll find that trust and a collaborative spirit grow by having others share positive incidents of someone other than him/herself. Examples of incidents could be helping someone with an assignment, using a new procedure, or being a friend to someone in need. Rather than the usual approach of the teacher recognizing one person above the others, sharing activities or incidents empowers
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Years ago as I was preparing to enter the teaching profession, I was taught that classroom management was about discipline. A college professor once told me that he didn’t like the word, “discipline,” so he used “classroom management” instead. When I returned to the classroom years later, I began to reflect on the differences between these two concepts and found them so great that just understanding the differences significantly reduced behavior problems as well as my stress levels. All classroom management strategies have to do with making instruction efficient. This is the teacher’s responsibility. Unfortunately, too many classroom management strategies refer to behavior or discipline problems. These have to do with behavior—which is the student’s responsibility. The sooner teachers refer to classroom management strategies as using procedures
READ MORE >>> →People who use Discipline Without Stress® find it life-changing because they use many of the techniques in both their personal and professional lives. This 4-hour program—divided into 54 short modules—teaches how to influence others to do what you would like them to do because they want to do it. It is the most positive discipline system because it shows how to use authority without force or coercion. The coercive punishment culture prevalent in many schools and homes is significantly reduced because adults serve as developers of good character rather than as police officers enforcing rules. Want to really use a positive discipline approach? Learn more.
READ MORE >>> →To understand how much more powerful it is to influence youth rather than overpower them, consider this short story: A young boy was to start kindergarten the next day and was protesting that he would not go. A normal parental reaction would have been to banish the youngster to his room and tell him that he had better make up his mind to go because he had no choice. (Note: the youngster may have had no choice as to the decision but he certainly had a choice as to how he could react to it.) Rather than taking this approach, the father reflected, “If I were my son, why would I be excited to go to kindergarten?” The father and
READ MORE >>> →One of the most challenging things about moving to the Raise Responsibility System is remembering to use the three principles of being positive, asking (rather than telling), and empowering by giving choices. It doesn’t happen overnight, and no one will tell you that you can be an expert when first starting. We’re all struggling to change previous mindsets, to pause before we blurt out automatic phrases that are negative, to get rid of those “old teacher stares,” and to be proactive instead of reactive. It’s not easy, so just try to take the pressure off yourself by not expecting perfection. That route leads to discouragement. Instead, just set little goals for yourself. For instance, try for an hour to always
READ MORE >>> →Discipline Online is now available for teachers, parents, and anyone working with young people. If you are at a school, home, or youth setting where discipline and behavior are out of control and where young people are not acting responsibly, then Discipline Online will be of great assistance. If you are a leader, teacher, or parent that imposes punishments, lectures, nags, or uses time-outs or detention, then Discipline Online is for you. If you are still rewarding young people for things they should be doing anyway, learn a better way. You owe it to yourself—and to the people with whom you work—to use a more effective approach than any of those mentioned above. Learn how to deal with behavior challenges effectively, promote responsibility, and enjoy the process by using authority without coercion. Learn more.
READ MORE >>> →Saying things in a positive way—especially during a discipline situation—is a challenge! It requires discipline on your part, especially if you have a lot of negative responses from the past glued in your brain. Before you respond to others in any way, take a breath and THINK first. It isn’t easy initially, but it does come more naturally once you force yourself to practice. One idea is to set a small goal for yourself. For example: Can you go for 30 minutes and respond with positivity to everything that happens (even negative things)? Taking the pause to consider what you’re going to say is the key! Following are some questions that are successful with various types of youth and situations.
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 15 Number 6
#2 Understanding John Dewey
#5 Contingencies vs. Consequences
#6 The Styles Assessemnt for Parents
It is a hard fact of life but a true one: We can outgrow friendships just like we outgrow shoes. Understanding this concept can significantly help young people who have a strong desire to want to be like others and want to feel that they are their friend’s “best friend.” It is often “painful” for a young person to see their “best friend” associate more with others than with themselves. Some good advice for young people (and for older ones, too) is to:• Find new interests• Make new friends• Find fun things to do By being your own best friend, you will always have one friend you can rely on. Therefore, learning to like yourself—HAVING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF—is
READ MORE >>> →All adults have the opportunity to influence children’s lives. And the greatest influence you can give is your belief in the young person. When children know that an adult in their life believes in them, their discipline issues will decrease. When I was a teacher, a poster I had in my classroom read: “I would rather try and fail than not try and succeed.” If you instill the PERCEPTION THAT SUCCESS IS ATTAINABLE, people will try and will have the self-discipline needed for success. If they do not believe success is possible, regardless of how easy the task or how smart the person, the goal will not be attained. One of the most enduring comments people say about others who
READ MORE >>> →One of the most perceptive comments ever made to me was stated in an elevator. I was at a conference and the person sharing the elevator with me said, “We run our life by procedures.” I immediately thought about the procedures I use in my personal life and then reflected on procedures I used as a classroom teacher (primary, upper elementary, and every grade 7-12). Whenever a student(s) did something that irked me, I would establish a procedure. For example, when I suddenly heard the pencil sharpener being used while I was talking, I taught a procedure. I simply had the student place the pencil in a raised hand. This indicated to me the desire to sharpen a pencil. When
READ MORE >>> →Schools use detention as a form of discipline in an attempt to promote responsible behavior. The premise is that punishment redirects irresponsibility. When giving public seminars, I often ask how many of the attendees were in schools that had detention. Most attendees raise their hands. I then ask how many find that very often the same students are serving detention. Inevitably, the same hands go up. I then comment, “Doesn’t that say something about the ineffectiveness of detention?” Perhaps the best paragraph I have read on the issue is from LouAnne Johnson in her book, “The Queen of Education.” Using detention as a catchall cure for student misbehaviors is like using one medicine for every physical ailment. We would not
READ MORE >>> →When you hear someone communicating negativity, imagine being surrounded by a Pyrex glass shield. It rebuffs all negativity–allowing only positivity to flow through. You will find that you can continue to converse and stay involved with those around you, but you won’t be affected by their negativity. As silly as this sounds, it works. To slightly rephrase how Mother Teresa put it: People may be illogical and self-centered. Treat them with positivity anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do positive things anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty may make you vulnerable. Be honest anyway. People favor top dogs. Fight for some underdogs anyway. What you
READ MORE >>> →People sometimes ask me if I’ve ever given thought to structuring the levels in the Hierarchy of Social Development in the reverse order so that A is the highest level. These people think it’s odd to have students strive for A work and D behavior in the school system. This concern is the most common challenge … for adults. It’s just not a problem for students. The structure and advantage of the hierarchy is that it prompts and challenges people—regardless of age—to achieve at the highest level. A simple way to make it clear is to put it in context, since any meaning is always within a specific context. For example, when do you use “to,” “two,” or “too”? It
READ MORE >>> →A teenager recently contacted me with the following comments: “I am a 17 year old with ‘determined they are good at parenting’ parents. I tried to encourage my parents to read your book and they refused. So I brought up the fact that they ‘try to teach me with imposed consequences rather than contingencies.’ I was then ridiculed and belittled by my dad. (How’s that for “good parenting”?) He said that if I were mature enough I would not have said that statement. He said that consequences and contingencies are the same thing. I am now going to prove to him the difference between the two.” I replied to the teen with the following: The father is of the old
READ MORE >>> →How are you multiplying your effect on others? Take the practice of positivity, for example. Are you making it a practice to self-talk in positive ways—always attempting to make any lemon into lemonade? With friends talking about others, are you focusing on good traits of others rather than always focusing on negative ones? When conversing with parents, are you helping them redirect negative, coercive thoughts by prompting them to reflect? With your children, do you communicate in ways so that they perceive conversations in a noncoercive, encouraging manner? With fellow employees, are you acknowledging their contributions? You can extend your effectiveness by practicing your skills in as many situations as you can find.
READ MORE >>> →Although fear is usually just negative self-talk about a perceived situation, there are times when it is most difficult to think that it is not real. So rather than attempting to eradicate your fear, warm up to it. We can learn from our children. Children don’t say, “I can’t because I’m afraid.” For example, a youngster will get on a high diving board and dive off even though she has never done it before. She’ll run to the parent with a great smile, and the parent will ask, “Weren’t you afraid?” She’ll respond, “Yes, I was afraid; I was really scared.” But a grown-up won’t do the same thing. If you say to a grown-up, “Are you going to dive
READ MORE >>> →Many years ago, the former Secretary of Education, William Bennett, was asked by a 7th grader, “How can you tell a good country from a bad one?” Dr. Bennett replied, “I apply the ‘gate’ test. When the gates of a country are open, watch which way the people run. Do they run into the country or out of the country?” The question was an excellent one and prompted an excellent response. I think the same question could be applied to parenting, teaching, and any organization. If the people you deal with were exposed to other possibilities or opportunities, and if all other things were equal, would they stay with you—or would they leave you? Consider taking an inventory. Are the
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