Stories are an excellent way to teach a concept, especially to young children. In my books, I recommend using stories to teach children about the various levels in the Hierarchy of Social Development. Of course, some people aren’t natural story-tellers, especially when the story needs to convey a specific learning point. In fact, one of the common questions I receive is “What stories work best to teach young children the levels of social development?” In answering these people, I’ve found that they don’t just want general guidance on the types of stories to use. They want actual stories that they can read to their class or child word for word. If you’re looking for short stories to read to children
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Imagine having a classroom of eager, young people who are there because they want to be, not because they are obliged to be … who do what’s expected of them because they enjoy it, not because of a threat of discipline … who are eager to learn, not just occupying space in a room. Unfortunately, this is not the case in many classrooms today. However, by focusing on the following three suggestions, you can take the first steps to create lessons that produce better results for both students and teachers. 1. Structure experiences to apply to life outside of school: Theory is important, but interest will increase the more you tie it into practice by showing how the learning makes
READ MORE >>> →In many areas of the country, school is going back into session this week after the customary winter break. If you’ve resolved to focus on promoting responsibility with your students this year, here are three simple steps to kick start the process. After you see some results from these suggestions, come back to this blog for more ways to promote responsibility in youth, which naturally decreases discipline issues. 1. Teach students to ask themselves questions: Encourage students to ask themselves questions. The questioning process starts the thinking process. When students begin to ask themselves “Why?” and “How?” questions, both alertness and interest increase. There are only three things we are more likely to answer than a question—the telephone, the doorbell,
READ MORE >>> →While it’s nice to think that every student comes to school eager to learn, that’s simply not the case. Any teacher or parent knows this. The good news is that there are things teachers can do to foster a true learning environment. Even better, the more conducive to learning your classroom is, the fewer discipline problems you’ll have. Here are the top three practices to implement this week. 1. Use collaboration: Competition improves performance, not learning. Yes, some students will practice for hours spurred on by the competitive spirit—be it in music, athletics, or performing arts. But these students are motivated to compete. And competition can be fun for short periods, but competing with others is devastating for the youngster
READ MORE >>> →With the New Year upon us, many people are making resolutions to improve their relationships this year. Why not extend that to include improving relationships with youth? Whether you’re a parent or a teacher, you can take steps to make parenting a joy and teaching less stressful. The usual approach to discipline is to teach toward obedience using rewarding, telling, and punishing. These are all various forms of manipulation, pressure, or coercion—and often induce stress and resistance. By contrast, if a discipline approach is used where students are motivated to be responsible, then obedience becomes a natural by-product. Young people—pre-school through 12th grade—want to be responsible, but we are using ineffective approaches to help them. If you’re yearning for a
READ MORE >>> →One of the goals of discipline is to instill in students the motivation to be responsible and to do what they need to do. Following are three ways to foster the internal motivation that leads to lasting self-discipline. 1. Create curiosity: Curiosity is perhaps the greatest of all motivators. Here is the difference between American and Japanese styles of teaching: In Japanese schools, students are immediately introduced to a problem or challenge. They grapple with it. Curiosity is naturally engendered. By contrast, in American schools the main idea(s) are presented, the solution is taught, and then students practice. Where is the curiosity engendered using this approach? 2. Create desire: Students are constantly asking themselves, “What’s In It For Me?” Since
READ MORE >>> →Consistency is important when using discipline, but so is fairness. How does a parent resolve a situation where, for example, two siblings are fighting? The usual approach is to impose the same consequence on both parties. But is equality the same as fairness when it comes to discipline? What if one sibling is continually the instigator? Since one individual may have started the incident and since each person’s sensitivity is different, imposing the same consequence on all parties is the least fair approach. A more effective and fairer approach for discipline is to elicit a consequence or a procedure from each individual to redirect impulses that will help each youngster become more responsible. Of course, if you think that the
READ MORE >>> →We would all like our children to gain from our experiences and our wisdom. Therefore, it seems only natural for us to tell our children what to do and what not to do. After all, young people will learn from what we tell them, right? Wrong! In truth, telling and lecturing are poor discipline strategies. Here are the top 5 problems with relying on telling to instill discipline: Telling is perceived as an attempt to control, and people do not want to be controlled. Telling creates defensiveness and a tendency to resist. Telling implies that something has to be changed. People don’t mind change as much as they mind being changed. Telling aims at obedience, not inspiration. Telling—like punishing and
READ MORE >>> →A reader wrote to me: “I have heard many teachers say with sadness or disgust, ‘Kids are not the same as they were when I started teaching.’ If students are different, how can the same way of dealing with their behavior still be effective? Isn’t it evident that the system of rewards and consequences is not working when the same students continually misbehave throughout their school careers in spite of all the opportunities for rewards they are offered and the numerous consequences they have incurred?” This reader is correct! Kids are different today. These days, children are exposed to different environments than those in earlier generations. This is one of many reasons that traditional discipline approaches based on coercion are
READ MORE >>> →Have you ever said in frustration, “What should I do with this kid?” If you have, you’re not alone. It’s probably one of the most common questions teachers and parents ask themselves. Realize, though, that you don’t “do” things to people. A better approach—one that promotes responsibility and reduces discipline problems—is to teach young people to do things for themselves. Using traditional approaches of discipline, such as imposed punishments and rewards, may make the parent or teacher feel better, but it does little to foster independence and self-discipline in youth. In fact, the external approaches of relying on rules, imposing consequences, rewarding youth for appropriate behavior, and punishing children to make them obey are all counterproductive. They may force compliance
READ MORE >>> →In her book The Caring Teacher’s Guide to Discipline: Helping Young Students Learn Self-Control, Responsibility, and Respect, Marilyn Gootman writes that discipline is teaching self-control, not controlling or managing students. And as Richard Sagor notes in his book At-Risk Students: Reaching and Teaching Them, an effective discipline program requires three particular, vital educational functions: The maintenance of order The development of internal locus of control The promotion of prosocial behavior All three are accomplished in an approach where the student acknowledges ownership of behavior, where the student self-evaluates, and where the student develops a plan. In the process, the student grows by becoming more self-regulated. As Sagor notes, the locus of control is internal. This is in contrast to an
READ MORE >>> →Promoting Responsibility & Learning – Volume 13 Number 12
#1 Collaboration for learning, competition for performance
#4 Men’s and women’s brains
#6 A fascinating question to ask young people
A personal connection is the best gift that a teacher can give to students, especially troubled or challenging ones. In fact, strong teacher/student relationships can curb discipline problems. We know that the brain is a seeker of connections. When new information is given to students, nothing in the brain may take place until a connection or hook is made. For some students, cognitive connections are not made easily. The human connection can serve as the part of what provides a hook for persistence that is so necessary for success with these students. A teacher is an encourager. In his article “Teaching for Intelligence: In Search of Best Practices,” Jim Bellanca stated it succinctly: “Teaching is a strategic act of encouragement.”
READ MORE >>> →Answering a question with a question is one of the most effective approaches a parent (or anyone) can use. Whether in everyday, casual conversation or in a discipline situation, questions are much more effective than telling. For example, if the young person asks you a question of which you are not sure how to respond (or if you want the young person to give more thought to the subject), put the conversational ball back by asking a question in a non-confrontational way. Some questions to consider are: “What do you mean?” “What makes you ask that?” “What do you think … (the reason is … we should do next … the best option is … etc.)?” The beauty of this
READ MORE >>> →We’ve all been in situations that can put us in a bad mood: traffic jams, dealing with unruly children, interacting with rude co-workers … the list goes on. But have you developed the self-discipline to choose your reaction to the situation? I admit that while in the midst of a stressful situation, it’s hard to consciously choose to stay positive or to not let something upset you. In that moment, negativity may surround you, and negativity is very contagious. That’s why I recommend everyone develop a procedure for dealing with stressful situations. My favorite is the Stop, Think, and Go procedure, which I explain here. Whatever procedure you opt to use for yourself and to teach your children, the key
READ MORE >>> →Dear Marv: Briefly, what would be the key similarities and differences between your Discipline without Stress and the Positive Discipline method promoted by Jane Nelson? Thank you, Joanie, === Hi Joanie, Although Jane and I have similar goals in that we both want to promote responsibility and reduce discipline problems, our approaches are significantly different. Here are a few: DWS does NOT award young people for being responsible. DWS expects responsible behavior. DWS is totally noncoercive—although not permissive. DWS does not use external approaches. DWS differentiates between offering bribes before doing something and acknowledgments AFTER doing it. DWS has no interest in one’s past history or environment; it is only interested in present behavior. DWS emphasizes the importance of teaching procedures
READ MORE >>> →When teachers and parents discipline with stress, they are deprived of joy in relationships. Discipline, however, can be an opportunity, rather than a problem. As the French sociologist Emile Durkheim observed, discipline provides the moral code that makes it possible for the small society of the classroom to function. Following are some thoughts about discipline from others. All of these echo the underlying concepts of the Raise Responsibility System—that discipline means both to teach and to learn, and that it’s a tool for teaching responsibility. “Discipline in its highest notion is not punishment or self-punishment. It is rather something seminal to the self. It is our foundation. It is our architecture. It gives us structure. It allows us to steer
READ MORE >>> →Contrary to popular belief, teachers are not just in the teaching profession; they are also in the relationship, marketing, and motivation professions. How can I assert that? Consider these points: Relationships are key: Students will not learn from (or take discipline from) someone they do not like. For many people, including youth, relationships are their most prized possession. The aphorism is true: People don’t care how much you know until they know that you care. Marketing matters: Today’s students have so many diversions that they do not come to school, sit at the teacher’s feet, and say, “Teach me.” Successful teachers create curiosity. They make learning meaningful, enjoyable, and challenging. But most of all, they motivate students to learn. In
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