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Reduce Stress

Sitting Is The New Smoking

On June 19, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

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Sitting is the new smoking.

The human body was developed for movement.

A sedentary culture of sitting is taking a major toll on people’s health. When sitting for long periods of time, our bodies become less efficient. Sitting more than six hours a day puts you on a very unhealthy path—even if you exercise.

Sitting for long periods of time can actually make bottoms bigger because sitting down puts a large amount of force on the body tissues that make fat cells. People who sit for prolonged periods throughout the day are predisposed to developing diabetes as well as other health problems. In addition, lack of movement increases a propensity for depression and feeling blue.

Here are a few suggestions … >>>

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How To Handle a Monkey

On June 18, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

The image displays the words “Without Stress Tips” in white against a blue background along a gold lotus blossom.

When we do things for people that they can do for themselves, we deprive them of the opportunity to learn, grow, and become more self-sufficient.

Here is a technique I used as an elementary, middle, and high school principal and as a district director of education.

When my office was large enough to hold a table as well as my desk, I immediately welcomed the person and offered a seat at the table. This immediately removed any feelings of my being in an authority position.

I listened, and if the conversation was about a problem that I thought the person could handle, I immediately envisioned a monkey sitting on the person’s shoulder. My intent was to be sure that when … >>>

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How To Avoid Saying NO

On June 12, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

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Ever say “NO!” to a person?

It seems rather obvious that the response to this question prompts negative feelings. If you ask for something and you receive a negative response, you will not be very pleased.

The negative response not only may prompt stress for the receiver of the comment, but it can also prompt negative feelings and some stress for the person giving the response. What parent or manager derives pleasure in saying “NO!” to someone?

Someone who was about to adopt a child asked me how to avoid the common response by so many parents of NOT continually saying, ‘No!’” (“No, you cannot do that!” “No, you cannot have that!”)

My response: Say “Not yet.”

These two words … >>>

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Employing Your Nonconscious Mind

On June 4, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

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Make your nonconscious mind your friend.

The nonconscious mind believes what the conscious mind tells it. When a thought flits through your mind, your nonconscious mind “hears” it, believes it, and records it. Your conscious mind may forget about it immediately, but it’s in a permanent file in your brain.

Your nonconscious mind is the storehouse for your habits and all of what you do without consciously thinking about them, which means that your nonconscious mind has a profound effect on you.

For example, if you think that you will not sleep well tonight, your conscious mind believes you and creates a roadblock. If you think that you will not pass some employment or other exam, you are programming negative … >>>

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Working with Fear

On May 30, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

The image displays the words “Without Stress Tips” in white against a blue background along a gold lotus blossom.

Fear is often a by-product of negative thoughts. Unfortunately, we have an innate capacity for fear.

In 1919 psychologist John B. Watson conducted a controversial experiment to see whether fear could be learned.

A young boy he named “Little Albert” was shown different creatures, including a rat. At first, Albert showed no fear of the rat.

Then Watson paired the exposure with a harsh sound that scared the little boy. Soon, Little Albert would react with fear at just the sight of the rat alone.

In essence, this was an example of classic conditioning. We are all familiar with the example of Ivan Pavlov and his experiments of feeding a dog while ringing a bell. Soon Pavlov just rang the … >>>

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Overcoming Fear and Anxiety

On May 22, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

The image displays the words “Without Stress Tips” in white against a blue background along a gold lotus blossom.

Fear and anxiety are natural emotions.

You may not know exactly why you feel these emotions, but when you do, you think something bad is about to happen—even if you don’t quite know what.

Since fear and anxiety do not naturally accomplish something positive, the trick is to manage them and put them to your use, rather than trying to ignore them.

The first step is to acknowledge these emotions—since you cannot initially change them.

The next step is to visualize them as positive sources for motivation. This can be likened to a soldier about to go into battle. The soldier uses courage to act regardless of the fear and anxiety.

My father, as articulate as he was, feared to … >>>

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Remaining unhappy

On May 15, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

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Remaining unhappy is very easy. It even comes naturally. If you are in a funk, it is natural to be unhappy. But when you are in this state and do nothing about it, you are taking the easy way out. Is this in your own best interest?

Abraham Lincoln proclaimed, “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” When unhappy or feeling sad, it is a shame to take the easy way out.

You can take the easy approach and remain in a funk, or you can choose to put forth effort. All you need to do to change your feelings is to redirect your thinking. The emotion (feelings) always follows thinking (cognition).

Never attempt … >>>

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Facing Adversity

On May 8, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

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If you were born into a poor family without the means to send you to a desired university, you can’t go back and trade in your parents for a set of millionaires.

If you were born with a physical disability, you can’t trade in your body for a better model.

Remember, however, that the cards you are dealt are less important than the way you play your hand.

History books are full of success stories about people who faced adversity as a challenge.

I know this from my own life. Throughout my K-12 education, I stuttered so badly that I was afraid to open my mouth in public. When I did, I could feel my heart beating so badly that … >>>

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Listening, Caring, and the Story

On May 1, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

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Listening and caring are prime sources of good relationships. They are so intertwined that if you experience one, you also experience the other.

If you ask yourself how you know someone cares for you, one of your responses is likely to be that you know because the person listens to you.

Ask a husband about a good wife, and he is likely to say that he knows his wife cares for him because she listens to what he has to say. Ask a wife about a good husband, and she’ll respond that he listens to her.

Even if we are saying something that is not really worth listening to, we still want someone to listen to us.

Ask a person … >>>

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A Dirty Sponge

On April 23, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management

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The ghosts of what we erase on a computer remain deep within the system, electronically etched into the hard drive. Similarly, what goes into the human mind can remain to contaminate it or to enrich it.

The mind is like a sponge. If you soak a sponge in dirty water and squeeze it, dirty water will come out. Interestingly, if you then soak the sponge in clean water and squeeze, you will still get some dirty water because some of the dirt clings to the sponge.

Similarly, when you fill your mind with unhealthy or unproductive thinking, it penetrates beyond the conscious mind and into the subconscious. There it stays. The subconscious does not forget. The debris that comes into … >>>

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Counterwill

On April 16, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

The image displays the words “Without Stress Tips” in white against a blue background along a gold lotus blossom.

“Counterwill” is the name for the natural human resistance to being controlled by someone else.

This instinctive resistance can take many forms—disobedience or defiance, procrastination, doing the opposite of what is expected, and lack of motivation. Counterwill is normal in toddlers, in young people of all ages, and most certainly in adults. It is such a universal phenomenon at certain stages of development that it has given rise to the term “rebellious twos” and “rebellious teens.”

The underlying dynamic of counterwill is deceptively simple: a defensive reaction to felt coercion. On a side note, the totally noncoercive (but not permissive) Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model totally bypasses counterwill.

Trying to deal with this dynamic by using coercion is a … >>>

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Manage the Conversation Rather than the Conflict

On April 3, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

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Have ever had a conversation with an emotional person? If you have, you realized the futility. Regardless of age, when the other person is seeing red, is angry, or extremely emotional, trying to reason is fruitless.

The smart approach is to take a break. Suggest it. Set a time to return. It can be as short as two minutes. It’s as simple as saying, “I need a break. Excuse me; I’ll be back in two minutes.”

Then how do you handle the situation? The key is to remember that the person who asks the question controls the conversation. So put forth questions that prompt responses. Examples are:

“What do you suggest our next step to be?

“What do you suggest

… >>> READ MORE >>> →

Failure and Stress

On March 30, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

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It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you failed by default.

It is far better to try to do something and not reach your expectations than not try. The reason is that as you continue to try, you learn more about your strengths and limitations. Only then do the right choices become easier and more natural.

Without realizing it, failing to try something you would really like to do promotes negativity, a cousin of stress.

With the risk of trying comes the reward, which always results in learning of some kind. In the final analysis, something is lost when we live … >>>

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Urgent vs. Important

On March 23, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

The image displays the words “Without Stress Tips” in white against a blue background along a gold lotus blossom.

There is a marked difference between what is urgent and what is important.

An urgent task may not be very important in the long run, but it demands immediate attention. An important task is something that moves you toward your goal.

If the roof is leaking and water is dripping on your favorite reading chair, the urgent task is to move the chair. The important task is to fix the leak.

Here is another example to deal with the difference. If you are working on a project and a creative idea pops into you head that has nothing to do with the task at hand, write it down to attend to it later. If you leave the important task at … >>>

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Assumptions

On March 16, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

The image displays the words “Without Stress Tips” in white against a blue background along a gold lotus blossom.

Although assumptions are necessary, they often are the cause of needless stress.

On a recent Saturday morning, my wife drove to a medical laboratory, having read in the laboratory’s booklet that it would be open Saturdays. After arriving at the laboratory, she discovered that it was closed; there had been a misprint in the medical directory.

If she had been aware that she made an assumption, she might have made a phone call to the laboratory, found that it was not open, and saved herself time and energy.

Assumptions are beliefs taken for granted. They are so natural and involuntary that they usually do not enter our consciousness. However, once we understand that we are making an assumption, we can … >>>

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Flexibility and Choice

On March 9, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management, Weekly Tips

The image displays the words “Without Stress Tips” in white against a blue background along a gold lotus blossom.

There is an old story about the U.S.S. Enterprise that was traveling along the Eastern seaboard. It saw a light in front and thought that it was going to collide with the other ship. So the Enterprise sent a signal for the other ship to travel in a different direction. “We are the U.S.S. Enterprise and you are on our course. Please go south.”

A message came back, “We cannot move.”

A second message was sent. “We are the U.S.S. Enterprise. If you do not move, we will collide.”

Another message came back. “Sorry, we will not and cannot move.”

A last message was sent. “We are the mighty U.S.S. Enterprise. If you do not change course, we will destroy … >>>

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Benjamin Franklin’s Approach

On February 28, 2016 / Reduce Stress, Stress Management

The image displays the words “Without Stress Tips” in white against a blue background along a gold lotus blossom.

Benjamin Franklin offered this advice that not only reduces stress from disappointments but increases your effectiveness: “Present your thoughts not as ultimatums but as suggestions to be considered.”

He wrote that he made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions of others and all positive assertions of his own.

He even forbade himself the use of every word or expression that imported an opinion, such as “certainly’’ and “undoubtedly.” Instead he used expressions such as, “I conceive,” and “I imagine” a thing to be so and so.

When someone asserted something that Franklin thought to be an error or wrong, he denied himself the pleasure of contradicting the person even though he knew he was right.

Here’s what he … >>>

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