Discipline

Bring Discipline Without Stress to Your School … for Free

On April 29, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Did you know that any school in the United States can receive free materials of the Discipline Without Stress approach? Simply go to http://disciplinewithoutstress.org/ and complete the application.

This highly successful discipline and learning system uses an approach that does not prompt counterwill. In fact, this approach achieves what every teacher desires but rarely accomplishes: separating the act from the actor, the deed from the doer, a good kid from inappropriate behavior. There are two reasons for this.

The first is that counterwill, the natural human tendency to resist coercion, is totally bypassed.

The second is that it also bypasses the natural tendency to defend oneself. Whenever a behavior is directly addressed, the natural tendency is to protect oneself. With … >>>

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Is a Treat the Same as a Reward?

On April 22, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Many teachers and parents who read and implement Discipline Without Stress and Parenting Without Stress often ask if giving children a treat once in a while is the same as giving them a reward.

Here’s a useful distinction to keep in mind: Rewards are always tied to some condition, whereas treats are given unconditionally. In other words, if you simply give a child a cupcake or a small toy, that’s not a reward. But if you say to the child, “If you do X, I’ll give you a cupcake,” then that’s a reward.

Realize too that the nature of the actual item being offered has no bearing on whether it can be considered a reward or a treat. A glittery … >>>

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Key Points about theLevels of Development

On April 15, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Before implementing Discipline Without Stress in their classroom, many teachers ask me, “What are the most important things I should know or review before getting started?”

Keeping the four-part Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model in mind, here are some critical understandings with regard to the Levels of Development:

Levels A and B are always unacceptable. Choosing to act (either consciously or non-consciously) at these levels will result in the use of authority by the teacher.
Don’t quibble with a student over determining whether a certain unacceptable action was at Level B or Level A. It doesn’t matter—both levels are unacceptable.
Don’t get derailed trying to figure out WHY a student chose to do something that was unacceptable. Harsh

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What to Do When Students Expect Rewards

On April 8, 2014 / Discipline, Responsibility

In many classrooms across the country, teachers utilize the “colored card,” “stickers,” or “treasure chest” method of classroom discipline. Those who want to implement the Discipline Without Stress methodology wonder if it’s possible when the children are used to being rewarded so much.

Sound familiar?

The good news is that you can implement Discipline Without Stress effectively even if the other staff members at your school don’t follow a similar philosophy. Here’s how.

First, there’s no need to announce to your students that you don’t give rewards for expected behavior and learning—unless they bring it up. If they are conditioned to being rewarded heavily, it’s quite likely that they will! If and when they do ask for a reward, you … >>>

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Does Discipline Without Stress Really Reduce Stress?

On April 3, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

People often ask, “Does the Discipline Without Stress model really reduce stress? How is this possible?”

Here’s my usual reply:

None of the three phases of this discipline approach—teaching, asking, or eliciting—prompts stress on the part of the teacher (or the student).

When a student misbehaves, the USUAL discipline approach is to tell, threaten, and/or punish. Each of these approaches is coercive and often results in some resistance. When a student does not obey, stress and aggravation escalate.

Discipline Without Stress is proactive in that four levels of social development are TAUGHT. This automatically sets the teacher up to use simple cognitive learning theory: teaching (first phase) and then checking for understanding (second phase).

Reference is always made to the … >>>

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The 3 Practices of Successful Teachers

On April 1, 2014 / Discipline, Learning

Successful teachers have acquired certain habits that enable them to be more effective with their students. By doing so, the teacher gains more influence with their students, which results in the students making better decisions and choices all on their own, thus reducing discipline issues.

Here are the 3 practices of successful teachers, which is from Part Two of the Discipline Without Stress Teaching Model:

1. Word everything in a positive way. This isn’t about simply being cheery. Being positive in this discipline approach means that in a negative situation, the teacher learns to get in the habit of wording what they want to say in a positive way. Just a very simple example: Instead of saying “Stop running!” … >>>

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Discipline Positively

On March 20, 2014 / Discipline

Positivity—thinking and communicating in positive terms—works wonders in drawing others toward us and having them do what we would like them to do. This is as true today and it was generations ago. In fact, I recently read an interesting story that depicts an ancient form of what I would call “discipline positivity.”

In the Babemba tribe of South Africa, when a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, and every man, woman, and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused. Then each person in the tribe, regardless of age, begins to talk out loud to the accused, one at a time, … >>>

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How to Tell Others that You Don’t Use Rewards

On March 18, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

Teachers often ask me how they can explain to their peers that they are not using rewards in the classroom any longer. Some are even fearful of the conversation. After all, it seems that so many teachers and parents rely on rewards and punishments as their preferred discipline methods.

If you’re experiencing this concern, here’s how one teacher overcame it. Her experience is very insightful and may inspire you to do the same.

A Teacher’s Experience:

Sometimes it just helps to know you’re not alone in your thinking. In my case, once I had read enough on the topic and had developed a strong sense within myself that I personally no longer wanted to rely on rewards to discipline, I … >>>

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New Video About Discipline Without Stress

On March 6, 2014 / Discipline

I just posted a new video from my Discipline Without Stress training modules. If you want a quick lesson to improve your teaching, parenting, or leadership skills, view the video here.

If you like what you see, please share the link with your social networking and other friends.

The video gives a good overview of one of the reasons why Discipline Without Stress is more effective than traditional and coercive discipline approaches. I guarantee that if you implement what I share with you, both your professional and your personal life will become more effective and enjoyable.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the video. Please leave your comments below.… >>>

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Rewards versus Paychecks

On March 4, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

When it comes to the topic of using extrinsic rewards with children (such as money or stickers), people often say it’s okay because it’s the same thing as an adult getting a paycheck at the end of the week.

In reality, it’s very different.

Employment is a social contract. A person (the employee) provides a service, and in return the employer gives remuneration. The only thing a fee for service has in common with rewards (as acknowledgments or as incentives) is that they both MAY involve legal tender. When was the last time you looked at your paycheck and thanked your employer for the reward?

Additionally, would you go to work every day if you didn’t get paid? If you … >>>

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Discipline and Competition

On February 21, 2014 / Discipline, Parenting

Getting children to do what you want them to do can be a struggle. And when the struggle gets too stressful, many parents resort to discipline, either by imposing punishments (“If you don’t clean up this mess you’re going into timeout”) or by offering a reward (“If you clean your room we can go out for ice cream”). However, these external motivators are nothing more than coercive tactics that do little help children develop the internal motivation to want to do something.

Rather than disciplining the child to force compliance, try turning the situation into a competition, which will spark the child’s internal motivation to win. For example:

Instead of: “If you don’t clean your room you’re going into timeout.”

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The Three Tenets of the Discipline Without Stress Model

On February 17, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time, you know by now that I discourage the use of imposed punishments, rewards, and telling as discipline strategies, and instead take a more stress-free approach to teaching and parenting. In fact, my parenting and teaching model is called Discipline Without Stress, and the three tenets of the model are positivity, choice, and reflection—all of which need to be fed. Doing so not only reduces stress, but it also increases parental and/or teacher effectiveness and improves relationships. Why? Here’s a brief synopsis of each.

Practice Positivity: Negative comments prompt negative feelings. Positive comments engender positive feelings, reduce discipline issues, and promote responsible behavior. Parents and teachers who are effective

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What to Say to Disruptive Children

On February 5, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness, Parenting

Whether in the classroom or at home, all children act out at times. When it occurs, rather than discipline them by imposing a punishment if they continue or promising a reward if they stop, try a few verbal techniques that promote responsibility in the youth and reduce stress for you.

Rather than telling the child that he or she is off task, not doing something correctly, or acting irresponsibly, ask the child to reflect on the level of chosen behavior of the Raise Responsibility System’s hierarchy.
Children with short attention spans have a difficult time getting started on a task and staying on a task. Therefore, give clear, concise, directions. In the classroom, rather than just say, “Get ready

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5 Reasons Why Rewards Don’t Reduce Discipline Challenges

On January 27, 2014 / Discipline, Responsibility

Too many parents and teacher rely on rewards. They believe that if they reward children for doing something good, the need for discipline will decrease. In fact, rewards don’t reduce discipline issues because they don’t teach children how to be responsible. Here are 5 reasons why rewards don’t work.

1. Rather than a discipline strategy, a reward is actually a bribe. Young people do not need bribes to be good.

2. Rewards can be great incentives—if the person chooses to work toward the reward. If the person is not interested in the reward or does not work toward receiving the reward, it is not much of an incentive.

3. Rewards can be wonderful acknowledgments. They serve to give … >>>

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12 Reasons Why Imposed Punishments are Poor Discipline

On January 24, 2014 / Discipline, Effectiveness

In the classroom, punishment as discipline is too often used for those who don’t need it. These students will respond without punitive action.
Imposing punishment moves ownership from the student to the teacher.
Imposing punishment is teacher-dependent. The threat of punishment may coerce a student to act appropriately in one class but have no effect on the way the student interacts with others outside of that class.
By the time students have reached the secondary level, some have been lectured to, yelled at, sent out of the classroom, kept after school, referred to the office, suspended in school, suspended from school, and referred to Saturday school so often that these students simply no longer care.
Behavior may temporarily change at

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Misguided Discipline Proposals to Reduce School Suspensions

On January 21, 2014 / Discipline

New federal guidelines regarding school suspensions for discipline are misguided because some of the recommendations are counterproductive. Specifically, rewarding students for good behavior and creating student codes of contact that spell out sanctions for violations are old and ineffective approaches for this new generation of 21st century young people.

Rewarding students for good behavior is built on good intentions but is counterproductive. Manipulative approaches of bribing by giving rewards for desired behaviors are effective only for the moment. The reward motivates the person to get the reward but does not build the characteristic for wanting to become more responsible. Besides, rewards punish those people who do everything that the rewarded person does but without also receiving the reward. This … >>>

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What Discipline Really Is

On January 15, 2014 / Discipline

The following is from my Discipline Without Stress Resource Guide. It gives a good overview of what discipline really is … and what it isn’t. I’d love to hear your thoughts about discipline. Please contribute in the comments below.

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What Is Discipline?

“Discipline is understood in a very limited way by most educators—How do we get these children to behave?—rather than How do we support the people in our charge as they learn to channel and direct their positive energy in ways that accomplish their goals and those of their community?” -Dr. Richard E. Clark, Chair Department of Educational Psychology, University of Southern California

“To many people, discipline means punishment. But, actually, to discipline means … >>>

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