Blog

Coolidge, Persistence, McDonald’s, and Discipline

On July 19, 2013   /   Discipline, Learning  

Ray Kroc sold malted milk machines in Southern California. Two brothers owned a drive-in restaurant, and they were his best customers. Kroc believed that the brothers’ business model was a good one. Their place was well-lit and clean, had a wholesome family atmosphere, offered uniform quality at a fair price, and sustained a volume that outstripped all of Kroc’s other customers.

Kroc was able to have the brothers sell their drive-in restaurant to him, but he retained the company’s name: McDonald’s.

The new owner found a Calvin Coolidge quote that expressed his business philosophy and posted it on the wall of every McDonald’s. It read:

“Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

A Simple Way to Promote Responsibility

On July 18, 2013   /   Parenting, Responsibility  

Always encourage youngsters to look to themselves to solve problems, rather than relying on others. This is of critical importance because parents, desiring to help their children, too often do things for them that they could and should be doing themselves. In these situations, parents not only create more work and more stress for themselves, but, more important, they deprive young people of opportunities for growth and developing responsibility.

As it has been aptly said, “If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.” If your children are to learn how to become responsible, they must experience responsibility.

When children have a problem, rather than solve it for them, ask, “What do … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Positivity, Frank Sinatra, and “On the Sunny Side of the Street”

On July 17, 2013   /   Effectiveness, Relationships  

As a professional speaker, I treat my vocal chords as athletes and musicians treat their key assets. So one of my procedures is to sing in order to enhance my vocal variations and tone of my voice. I do this by singing a few mornings each week.

One of the songs I often sing with is a recording of Frank Sinatra’s “On the Sunny Side of the Street.“ I especially enjoy the lyrics since they bring to mind my “positivity” principle to practice.

Here are the lyrics:

Grab your coat and snatch your hat, leave your worries on the doorstep.
Just direct your feet to the sunny side of the street.

Can’t you hear that pitter pat and that … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Breathing Techniques Help Youth Deal with Impulse Control

On July 16, 2013   /   Effectiveness, Responsibility  

A new study from the University of California, Los Angeles, found that teens who went through a four-week program where they learned about yoga-based breathing techniques had better impulse control than teens who didn’t go through the program. The program, called “YES! for Schools,” was developed by the nonprofit International Association for Human Values.

Researchers had 524 Los Angeles area high school students go through the four-week program. They also recruited 264 teens to be in a control group that didn’t go through the program. After the four weeks, the students who went through the program reported feeling less impulsive than those who didn’t. The researchers noted that the findings are important because lack of impulse control is linked with … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Evaluating Teachers

On July 15, 2013   /   Learning  

The Los Angles Times today (June 15, 2013) carried an extensive article indicating that California is resisting the federal government’s insistence that standardized test results be used for evaluating teachers. Such resistance should not only be applauded but should also be followed by other states.

Using standardized tests to evaluate teacher performance is a political, not an educational, decision. No research justifies the use of such tests for this purpose. In fact, using any standardized test for this purpose is invalid and unreliable. There are just too many extraneous factors.

If we really want to improve teaching, we should look to develop models of effective evaluation rather than pursuing problematic schemes that measure teachers, create disincentives for teaching hi-need students, … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Listening by Using Rapid Repeat

On July 12, 2013   /   Effectiveness, Learning  

Some scientists say that about every 11 seconds our minds talk to us. When we’re listening to someone else speak to us about 250 words a minute, our minds, which are capable of dealing with thousands of words per minute, go wandering off, as in, “Did I turn off the coffee maker this morning?” “Do I remember where I parked the car in the parking structure?” “What shall I wear for the event tonight?”  

One way to tie up our self-talk or to continually focus on the speaker is to use the rapid repeat technique. Like anything new, it takes some practice. Here’s how it works: As you’re listening to someone, … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Why Contingencies are a Positive Discipline Technique

On July 11, 2013   /   Discipline, Effectiveness  

Practicing the principle of positivity improves relationships, increases effectiveness in influencing others to change their behaviors, and makes discipline much easier.

Negative comments engender negative attitudes. Consequences (the usual discipline technique) are usually perceived negatively, and they do not change the way a youngster wants to behave. Additionally, announcing consequences ahead of time is often counterproductive with young people because it focuses on the consequences, rather than on the desired behaviors. Plus, such information encourages certain types of students to push until the limit is reached. If a consequence is necessary, a more effective approach is to elicit the consequence—which should be reasonable, respectable, and related to the situation.

Positive comments, on the other hand, engender positive attitudes. People who … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Learning and Collaboration

On July 10, 2013   /   Learning  

One day a salesman driving on a two-lane country road got stuck in the ditch. He asked a farmer for help. The farmer hitched up Elmo, the blind mule, to the salesman’s car. The farmer grabbed a switch, snapped it in the air, and yelled, “Go, Sam, go!” Nothing happened. He snapped it again. “Go, Jackson, go!” Still nothing. Then he flicked Elmo. “Go, Elmo, go!” And Elmo pulled the car out of the ditch.

“Hey, what’s with the ‘Sam’ and the ‘Jackson’?” asked the driver.

“Look, if he didn’t think he had any help, he wouldn’t even try!”

We all need help, and this is one reason that collaboration is far more effective in promoting learning than competition. Competition … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

One Key Skill All Parents and Teachers Must Master

On July 9, 2013   /   Parenting, Reflection, Relationships  

Reflection is a powerful teaching and learning strategy that parents and teachers often overlook. The key to reflection is the skill of asking youngsters self-evaluative questions. Here are a few examples:

  • Are you angry at me or at the situation?
  • Does what you are doing help you get your work done?
  • What would an extraordinary person do in this situation?
  • Are you willing to try something different if it would help you?

Unfortunately, most parents and teachers ask ineffective questions such as, “Why are you doing that?” This is a pothole question. First, most people cannot articulate their motivation and second, the youngster may answer, “Because I have ADD.” Better never to ask a child a “Why?” question regarding behavior! … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Discipline and Internal Motivation

On July 8, 2013   /   Discipline, Learning  

A prime reason that the discipline and learning system (Discipline Without Stress) is so successful is that it teaches young people to understand differences between internal and external motivation.

In the research book, Intrinsic Motivation and Self Determination in Human Behavior by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, they conclude, “In other words, verbal rewards (i.e. cognitive feedback) left intrinsic motivation unchanged in a situation where tangible rewards undermine it.” (p. 60)

The Discipline Without Stress system promotes giving positive feedback, especially recognition, but does not suggest giving tangible rewards. One reason is that once a tangible reward is given, motivation inevitably changes. Will the incentive be pursuing the objective … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Noncoercive Discipline and Logical and Natural Consequences

On July 7, 2013   /   Discipline, Effectiveness  

Imposed consequences for discipline—whether they are referred to as “logical” and/or “natural”—are basically punishments, eventhough they may be  “punishment light.”  The reason is that these discipline approaches are imposed.

Discipline Without Stress works with young people. This is in contrast to consequences that does things to them. It makes no difference if the intention is to teach a lesson; imposed punishments increase the likelihood that the person will feel punished.

Any form of punishment where something is done to another person prompts negative feelings, resentment, and resistance.

“Discipline Without Stress” elicits consequences and, therefore, avoids these problems typically associated with punishment. The reason is that young people do not feel like victims when they have designed their own consequence … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Self-Discipline and the Theatre of the Mind

On July 5, 2013   /   Discipline, Effectiveness, Learning  

The concept of a “Theatre of the Mind” was described by Maxwell Maltz, a cosmetic surgeon and author of Psycho-Cybernetics. It is a system of ideas that could improve a person’s self-image. His self-discipline system was developed after he discovered that people who had cosmetic surgery to improve their self-esteem failed to do so. Maltz concluded that in order to improve one’s “outer image,” the “inner image” must also be addressed. In essence, if one’s self-image is unhealthy or negative, all cosmetic efforts will be to no avail.

His ideas focus on visualizing as the cornerstone of change.  His “Theatre of the Mind” is constructed in a person’s imagination, as in a real motion picture house. It is a … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Keep Discipline Future-Focused

On July 4, 2013   /   Parenting, Responsibility  

When a youngster makes a mistake or does something wrong, focus on the future, not on the past. It is counterproductive to harp on past unsuccessful behaviors.

For example, if you focus on the past, it might sound like, “You should have been more careful!” However, if you focus on the future, it would sound like, “What can we think of so that it won’t happen again?” (Notice the use of the collaborative “we,” rather than “you.”) … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Discipline and a Repair Room

On July 3, 2013   /   Discipline, Learning  

The idea of using a repair room for discipline challenges was sent to me by Cathy Rogers, a National Board Certified Teacher in Verona, Kentucky. 

—–

I began using the Raise Responsibility System in my classroom of 7 and 8-year-olds.

After learning the different levels, the students and I discussed that our class, when working in levels C and D, was a “learning machine.”  When someone was behaving on level A or  level B, our learning machine became like a bicycle with a broken piece; the piece needed to be fixed, and the machine could not work correctly until that was done. 

We need everyone’s contributions to be a whole. We decided to call our area of the room … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Discipline, PBIS, and Behaviorism

On July 2, 2013   /   Discipline, Effectiveness, Learning  

Positive Behavioral  Intervention and Supports (PBIS) is based upon using external approaches to promote responsible behavior and discipline.  A little history is in order.

B. F. Skinner (1904-1990) was the famed Harvard University psychologist who became popular with his practice of behaviorism, which is an extension of classical conditioning that is identified with Pavlov’s dog. The dog smells food and salivates. By pairing an artificial stimulus with a natural one—such as ringing a bell when the food appears—the dog associates the two. Ring the bell; the dog salivates. (Pavlov was smart enough not to use a cat; cats, like humans, are too independent.)

Operant conditioning, commonly referred to today as behaviorism is concerned with how an action may be controlled … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Are Parenting and Teaching Really Different Today?

On July 2, 2013   /   Effectiveness, Parenting  

The nature of childhood has dramatically changed in the last few generations. Young people spend time in front of the television, a passive activity that robs them of playtime and imagination. Hours are also spent in front of computers. These types of activities—relying on technology—are often lone activities in that people generally engage in them by themselves. As a result, learning about personal relationship skills and developing social intelligences are largely ignored. In contrast to former generations, young people today are more independent, more anxious, more impulsive, more disruptive, and more disobedient. To many parents, youth today seem like a real pain.

Although the young today are different, they aren’t worse.

Current generations are not like any other in history. … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

Lyrics “Plant a Radish” for Parents

On July 1, 2013   /   Parenting  

Jim Cathcart’s book, The Acorn Principle, argues that an acorn is capable of becoming a mighty oak, but it will never become a giant redwood—no matter how much you feed or push it. 

The lyrics to “Plant a Radish” from the musical The Fantastics makes the same point:

—–

Plant a radish; get a radish.
Never any doubt!
That’s why I love vegetables;
you know what they’re about.

Plant a turnip; get a turnip.
Maybe you’ll get two.
That’s why I love vegetables;
you know that they’ll come through.

They’re dependable! They’re “befriendable”!
They’re the best pal a parent’s ever known.
While with children, it’s bewildering.
You don’t know until the seed is nearly grown
Just what you’ve sown.

So… >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top

“Never Say No” Lyrics for Parents

On June 28, 2013   /   Effectiveness, Parenting  

During my seminars I show a cartoon illustrating two young children raking leaves. The mother is saying to her neighbor that she told her children they could not rake the leaves. The humorous cartoon points out that if you tell kids not to do something, they want to do it.

I recently saw a stage production of the musical The Fantastics. One of the songs had the following lyrics, which makes the same point:

———-

Dogs got to bark, a mule’s got to bray.
Soldiers must fight and preachers must pray
And children, I guess, must get their own way
The minute that you say no.

Why did the kids pour jam on the cat?
Raspberry jam all over … >>>

READ MORE >>> →
Back to Top