Discipline Without Stress Newsletter – March 2014

Volume 14 Number 3


  1. Welcome
  2. Promoting Responsibility
  3. Increasing Effectiveness
  4. Improving Relationships
  5. Promoting Learning
  6. Parenting
  7. Discipline without Stress (DWS)
  8. Reviews and Testimonials  




Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do BECAUSE THEY WANT TO DO IT. –Dwight David Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States and the Supreme Commander of Allied Forces during WWII

For a quick lesson to improve your teaching, parenting, or leadership skills, view this. If you like what you see, please share the link with your social networking and other friends.

The Bureau of Education and Research (BER) will be sponsoring my presentation as indicated below:

April 28 Cherry Hill (Voorhees) New Jersey 
April 29  Chicago South (Oak Lawn) Illinois
April 30 Rockford, Illinois 
May 1 Chicago North (Elk Grove Village)
May 2 Winnipeg, Manitoba (Canada)
If you would like more information, link to BER pand click on “Find an Event Near You” (in the upper right corner for the above locations). You also can call BER at 1-800-735-3503 (M-F 6 a.m. – 6 p.m.).

Here is one of many comments from one of my BER presentations last year:
“My name is Patrick D’Alessandro and I am a Kindergarten teacher in Powell, WY. I attended your training on Discipline Strategies last spring in Billings. I have found it truly beneficial–the best change I’ve ever made to my teaching and I am so grateful.”


The 100-page Resource Guide I use in my seminars is available in a printable version.

In an effort to assist in implementing my discipline and learning system, I HAVE STARTED TO CONSULT using telephone service, the Internet for a more visual interactive approach, and/or in person. For information, mailto:Marv@MarvinMarshall.com


If you have not seen the 3-minute video on my home page about a more effective approach than relying on rules, it will be worth your time to view it
 Here is another take on rules:
The first rule of being a great teacher: Continue being a student. 
The first two rules of improvement: #1. It will be difficult #2. It will be worth it 
The first rule of achievement: You don’t have to feel good to do good.
The first rule of punctuality: The only time that meetings start on time is when you are late.
The first rule of happiness: Happiness is wanting what you have. 
The last rule: Reading these isn’t enough; you have to use them.


Edward Deci, Professor of Psychology at the University of Rochester, has been studying human motivation for years. The following is adapted from the July/August 2013 issue of “Scientific American Mind,” page 18.

“It’s pretty well accepted that punishment is NOT a great motivator. However, one carrot that nearly always works, according to a large meta-analysis, is positive feedback.

“Positive feedback is something that feels good to anyone who is getting it. This simply means supporting someone’s sense of competence.” Giving positive feedback is a corollary of reflection, which is the third principle to practice in the “Discipline Without Stress Teaching model.

If you are interested in research on motivation, an outstanding resource is EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION AND SELF-DETERMINATION IN HUMAN BEHAVIOR by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan.


A personal connection is the best gift a person can give in a challenging situation. In fact, strong relationships can curb almost any problem. Letting people know you care is the most important thing you can communicate. Here are two questions to ask yourself—especially when working with young people:

1) Does the person feel safe with me no matter what happens?

2) Have I used kind and encouraging words in my relationship with the person?


Working Effectively with the Difficult, Defiant and Noncompliant Student” is Dr. James Sutton’s popular teacher inservice program and is now available through a new format that uses the Internet and his focused materials in a way that enables an entire faculty to train in small groups.

The CHANGING BEHAVIOR DIGEST is sponsoring this faculty training for schools. The entire 15-part training presentation can be completed in a day or in several sessions.

For a short video on this format of teacher inservice, the program goals and objectives, and a brief, real-time sample of the training, send a request to this email address: mailto:RBI@friendlyoakspublications.com


If a child breaks a rule, what is the parent’s natural tendency? Response: to enforce the rule and dish out consequences.

If a child doesn’t follow a procedure, the response is to re-teach that procedure, restate it, seek understanding, or be a coach.

That’s a big difference between acting in an enforcing mode or in an empowering mode to have the youngster do what you would like.

Unfortunately, too many parents today are relying on rules rather than teaching procedures and as a result they’re making everyone’s journey much more difficult and stressful.

If your objective is to promote responsible behavior, then motivate them to do so by asking, yourself, “Does my child know the procedure to do what I would like?”

Simply remember that rules impose and do not create desire. Procedures empower.


A few thoughts regarding how people view “discipline”:

“Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.” —Julie Andrews

“True freedom is impossible without a mind made free by discipline.” —Mortimer J. Adler

“He that would be superior to external influences must first become superior to his own passions.” —Samuel Johnson

“The first and the best victory is to conquer self.” —Plato

“We must all suffer one of two things: the ‘pain’ of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.” —im Rohn

“I cannot conceive of a good life which isn’t, in some sense, a self-disciplined life.” —Philip Toynbee

“In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves. Self-discipline with all of them came first.” —Harry S Truman

“Discipline yourself and others won’t need to.” —John Wooden

The easiest and most successful approach to be successful in this arena is to establish and implement procedures. —MM


The following is from a testimonial:

Our school began implementation of DWS this year and everyone was very pleased at how quickly students learned the levels. It’s great to see a kindergarten student who can tell you what anarchy means. One of the kindergarten students wrote that one of the best things about kindergarten was working at Level D.

—Maureen Ahern-Stamoulis, Cashell Elementary School, Rockville, Maryland

The EDUCATION book:  

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to do a lengthy interview with B.F. Skinner. I concluded that I do not subscribe to much of what he taught–for example, his rejection of all inferred states such as attitudes and motivation. Dr. Marvin Marshall’s book addresses a fundamental problem that every society must solve: how to produce individuals who will take responsibility for doing the important tasks that need to get done. He focuses on what is the essence of good citizenship in the home, school, and nation. Using some of the latest findings of social science, Dr. Marshall has developed an approach that enables parents and teachers to help young people grow into responsible citizens and live satisfying and rewarding inner-directed lives.” 
—Gene Griessman, Ph.D. Author of The Words Lincoln Lived By

The PARENTING book: 

“I have gleaned wonders from this book! There are so many things I have learned and implemented with my children.””
—Michelle Holbrook, Payson, Utah