One of the most important factors that study after study have shown—in terms of what is important to students—is their feeling/belief that someone in school cares.
A significant factor in asking a question is that there is an assumption that you care about the person with whom your are conversing.
When communicating with others, therefore, instead of thinking of the right thing to say, think of a question to ask. The sooner you inculcate the mode of asking questions—instead of telling—the less stressful it will be for you and the more successful you will become.
Asking reflective questions prompts the other person towards evaluation of their actions. Here are three reflective questions which can assist you in influencing others:
—Is there any other way this could be handled?
—What would a responsible action look like?
—What do you think an extraordinary person would do in this situation?
Remember that people change themselves, and the most effective way to influence others TO WANT TO CHANGE is through a noncoercive approach. The most effective noncoercive strategy is through prompting the person to reflect.
Consider: When you do the talking, who does the thinking?
When you do the asking, who does the thinking?
Some additional reflective questions can be found at this link.