Instead of thinking of the right thing to say, think of a reflective question to ask.
The sooner you inculcate the mode of asking reflective questions—instead of telling—the less stressful it will be for you, and the more successful you will become.
Reflective questions prompt evaluation of the person’s own behavior. An example to a young person is, “In the long run, is what you are doing in your own best interests?”
If the question is evaded, ask a second time.
Follow up with another question that stimulates thinking such as, “If what you are doing is not getting you what you want, what
could you do differently?”
If he says he doesn’t know, then you could ask, “What would an extraordinary person do in this situation?”