The brain and body are an integrated system. Feelings and cognition are interrelated and have a significant effect upon learning. If you are a parent, you know this. When your child returns home after the FIRST day of school, you may ask “How was school?” You also may ask, “What did you learn?” And you most certainly ask, “Do you like your teacher?”
We know from our personal experiences and through research on the workings of the brain that how we feel has a significant effect upon what and how we think and behave. Therefore, IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TEACHERS AND STUDENTS IS ONE OF THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL REFORMS THAT SCHOOLS CAN INITIATE. In fact, if you want to decrease discipline issues at home and at school, focusing on the student/teacher or parent/child relationship is the best first step.
The three practices of self-talking and communicating in positive terms, of empowering by choice, and of using the skill of asking reflective questions are universal and enduring approaches that improve relationships. All three of these practices are detailed in Discipline Without Stress and Parenting Without Stress. If you haven’t already read one or the other, I suggest you check them out.