For decades I’ve said that internal motivation drives behavior. I’ve seen this truth daily throughout my career. It’s the reason why I wrote the book Discipline Without Stress—to help teachers teach students the difference between internal motivation and external motivation and how each impacts their behavior.
In the Discipline Without Stress discussion group, a teacher made a comment about wanting to use Discipline Without Stress to “give young people a meaningful voice in their education.” One of my dear colleagues and friends, Kerry Weisner, responded with her viewpoint. Here is her reply:
“Giving kids ‘a meaningful voice in their education’ is not my goal when I use ideas from DWS in my teaching or parenting. Perhaps I misunderstand what … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Many teachers and parents fall into the trap of asking children “why” they did something. “Why did you hit your brother?” “Why did you throw your book on the floor?” “Why are you not listening to the instructions?” They mistakenly think that it is necessary to understand the “why” of a behavioral problem in order to fix it.
By focusing on the “why,” they are treating social-behavioral skills the same way as academic skills. However, academic skills deal with the cognitive domain, whereas behavior has to do with the affective domain—those factors that pertain to feelings and emotions. This is why knowing “why a building collapsed” is important to fixing the problem, but knowing “why you hit your brother” is … >>> READ MORE >>> →
The brain and body are an integrated system. Feelings and cognition are interrelated and have a significant effect upon learning. If you are a parent, you know this. When your child returns home after the FIRST day of school, you may ask “How was school?” You also may ask, “What did you learn?” And you most certainly ask, “Do you like your teacher?”
We know from our personal experiences and through research on the workings of the brain that how we feel has a significant effect upon what and how we think and behave. Therefore, IMPROVING RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN TEACHERS AND STUDENTS IS ONE OF THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL REFORMS THAT SCHOOLS CAN INITIATE. In fact, if you want to decrease discipline … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Negotiating about changing someone’s behavior can be more effective than using coercion. With this in mind, here are a few suggestions when you negotiate about a behavior or discipline situation.
• Be just. Good negotiators always think about how they can show that the outcome will be fair to all parties. In a discipline matter, this means that all parties feel the outcome will be just. If the decision is fair or just, the person or people with whom you are negotiating will never feel coerced or taken advantage of. This will make it easier to agree on the decision.
• Use a power pose. Expansive, open postures will prompt you to feel more powerful and confident during the negotiation. … >>> READ MORE >>> →