William James, the father of American psychology, was describing a key stress management technique when he said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
What he was really talking about was how “perceiving influences believing.”
In all three of my books, I talk about mindsets. My purpose is to have people be aware of how they phrase and verbalize their own thoughts. This will have a significant effect on their perceptions, their beliefs, and their stress management.
You can see how perceptions and what you visualize affect your stress levels by the following little experiment.
A Stress Management Experiment
First, close your eyes and imagine in your mind a seagull floating gracefully in … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Your mindset drives your behavior and how you react to others. The same is true for children. As the adult, you can assist young people by the pictures you help create for them.
Here’s how mindsets specifically relate to discipline and behavior. If you view irresponsible behavior to be deliberatively disruptive, then you’ll likely employ coercive discipline approaches, such as imposed punishments, rewards, or telling/lecturing. As a result, chances are that you’ll experience poor relationships with the children you’re interacting with and lots of stress.
In contrast, if you perceive that the behavior is the youngster’s best attempt to solve a frustration or problem, then you’ll naturally view the situation as an opportunity to help and use noncoercive discipline approaches, … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Volume 13 Number 8
IN THIS ISSUE:
- Promoting Responsibility
- Increasing Effectiveness
- Improving Relationships
- Promoting Learning
- Discipline without Stress (DWS)
- Reviews and Testimonials
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.–
Thomas Alva Edison
Last week I received a call from a teacher who has been using Discipline Without Stress (DWS) for two years in Jacksonville, Florida. She learned about the system from C.M. Charles’ book, “Building Classroom Discipline.”
Nancy was asked to present the system at a conference. The principal asked her because Nancy had not sent any students to the office on a discipline referral since she started using the system.
Nancy called me and asked if … >>> READ MORE >>> →
How one views a situation has a significant effect on how one understands the situation. Our viewpoints are determined by our experiences and our thinking. This explains how different people can view the same discipline problem differently. We see through different lenses.
I attempted to explain this in the opening paragraph of my education book. Here is the opening paragraph:
“Life is a conversation. Interestingly, the most influential person we talk with all day is ourself, and what we tell ourself has a direct bearing on our behavior, our performance, and our influence on others. In fact, a good case can be made that our self-talk creates our reality.” After writing this, I became more acutely aware of my … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Mindsets are attitudes, dispositions, intentions, and inclinations. If Johnny’s mindset is one of little or no interest in learning (and this includes learning appropriate behavior), Johnny will not learn much. Therefore, a major task of adults working with young people is to promote mindsets that promote learning and appropriate behavior.
James Sutton is a psychologist in Pleasanton, Texas, who trains child service professionals. Jim emphasizes how perceptions are as important as reality. If a child is afraid, behaviors will reflect that fear, regardless of whether there is anything to be afraid of or not. Jim’s experiences have led him to conclude that there are youngsters who are damaged more by their perceptions of their lives than by the realities … >>> READ MORE >>> →