Posts Tagged Rewards

Stress Management for Parents

Most parents I know are seeking help with stress management. Between work and family, there is always so much to do. No wonder so many parents turn to rewards and punishments in order to get their children to comply. Unfortunately, using such techniques actually makes the parent’s stress level rise. If you want true parental stress management, you need to focus on responsibility, not outdated parenting models.

Here’s why.

Social scientists have determined that we accept inner responsibility for a behavior when we think we have CHOSEN to perform it in the absence of outside pressure, such as a large reward.

While an incentive may get us to perform a certain action, it won’t get us to accept inner responsibility … >>>


Reduce Stress by Analyzing the Risks

Any time we engage in an activity, we are taking a risk. This is how we live our lives—from getting out of bed in the morning and not losing our balance so we don’t fall—to crossing the street and hoping a car doesn’t appear from nowhere to hit us.

Now with this in mind that we are always taking risks, let’s look at a procedure that we can use when we ponder taking a risk that we have not taken before.

The process of risk taking is not complicated. To reduce anxiety and stress, just analyze the situation.

Before embarking on an undertaking, examine the venture, and answer these questions:

  1. What is the best thing that could happen as a
>>> READ MORE >>>

Influence and Discipline

Here are four common ways to influence people (and the four most common approaches to discipline):

  1. Coercion or force: Discipline by threat or punishment is the approach here. This works as long as the threat is more powerful than the desire to resist it. 
  2. Offering an incentive or reward: With young people, the incentives are generally those that appeal for immediate satisfaction, rather than to those that build responsible character development and mature values. This discipline approach is commonly used in homes and schools to get the young to do what the adult wants. It promotes a mindset of, “What will I get for doing it?” and leads to long-term selfishness, as many studies have demonstrated.
  3. Cooperation: This is how
>>> READ MORE >>>

Discipline Without Stress Newsletter – November 2013

Volume 13 Number 11


  1. Welcome
  2. Promoting Responsibility
  3. Increasing Effectiveness
  4. Improving Relationships
  5. Promoting Learning
  6. Parenting
  7. Discipline without Stress (DWS)
  8. Reviews and Testimonials 



MONTHLY QUOTE: An Example of Positivity

Sir Winston. . . What in your school experience best prepared you to lead Great Britain out of our darkest hour?
(thoughtful pause)
It was the two years I spent in the first Form (seventh grade).
Did you fail the First Form?
No! I had two opportunities to learn to do it correctly. —Sir Winston Churchill


After having completed very successful video interactive sessions with entire school staffs, I am announcing the addition to the link – New: Unlimited interactive video conferencing with the entire staff

——… >>>


Rewards change motivation

I was talking with a friend yesterday who told me the following story.

Recently she had been chatting with a man who coaches soccer teams of 8 and 9 year olds. He mentioned that this year he’d had a lot of difficulty in getting his players to work together as a team.

My friend, an experienced teacher, started to offer some suggestions; she knew of many activities that might encourage teamwork.  But the man quickly stopped her.

“Oh, you don’t understand,” he said.  “It’s not the kids who are the problem––it’s the parents!  The parents have all promised their children that they’ll get two dollars every time they score a goal. The kids are so intent on getting … >>>


Help! I’m expected to post rules, consequences and rewards!


I have a problem.  My entire school district has been requested to update our classroom discipline plans for review by the new superintendent before the end of August.  My principal knows how I feel about the punitive discipline approach used across our district.  Last year he allowed me leeway––I didn’t have to post rules, consequences, rewards. However, with this latest pressure, he told me that I will have to comply with the new superintendent’s wishes.  I am wondering if there’s any way of making DWS “look” like a conventional discipline plan without “being” a conventional plan!


Well, it’s tough to take two opposite approaches and make one look like the other, BUT––survival seems key … >>>


What can be done so students know that the intrinsic is always most important?

I will start teaching next year and would like to get some ideas on behavior management and the use of rewards. I’m looking at a variety of discipline approaches, including Discipline without Stress.

I have a question: If a teacher does choose to provide extrinsic rewards, what should he or she do to make sure that students know that the intrinsic is always most important?

Would you agree that actions speak louder than words?

If a teacher chooses to reward a student extrinsically––but at the same time tells the student that the intrinsic reward is always more important––what message does the student actually receive?

If this is done routinely, sometimes both at home and … >>>


Some thoughts on rewarding from a Discipline without Stress teacher

Shared by Robin Tzucker
on the Discipline without Stress Mailring:

One of the reasons I like this system so much is that it feels much nicer to be in a place where everyone is treated equally. Kids don’t always need the same things, so there will always be plenty of times when we need to give certain kids more of our attention, more time, more help, etc.—but that’s not the kind of equal I’m talking about.

What bothers me is that it often seems that the more behavior problems a child has, the more “rewards” they ultimately end up with. This may sound odd, because they certainly also end up with a larger share of negative consequences too—but in … >>>