Saying NO to others is common. Have you ever had to say “no” to a person? Of course you have. We all have.
“No” is one of the shortest words in the English language. However, its constant use can prompt some of the biggest challenges in family and in other relationships.
“No” is a negative word. How did you feel that last time someone said “no” to you? Chances are you felt sad, deflated, or maybe even angry. When you ask for something and hear “no,” it’s common to feel negativity.
The negative response not only may prompt stress for the receiver of the comment, but it can also prompt negative feelings and some stress for the person giving the … >>> READ MORE >>> →
Ever say “NO!” to a person?
It seems rather obvious that the response to this question prompts negative feelings. If you ask for something and you receive a negative response, you will not be very pleased.
The negative response not only may prompt stress for the receiver of the comment, but it can also prompt negative feelings and some stress for the person giving the response. What parent or manager derives pleasure in saying “NO!” to someone?
Someone who was about to adopt a child asked me how to avoid the common response by so many parents of NOT continually saying, ‘No!’” (“No, you cannot do that!” “No, you cannot have that!”)
My response: Say “Not yet.”
These two words … >>> READ MORE >>> →
PROMOTING RESPONSIBILITY & LEARNING
Volume 16 Number 4 April 2016
Newsletter #177 Archived
IN THIS ISSUE:
- Promoting Responsibility
- Increasing Effectiveness
- Improving Relationships
- Promoting Learning
- Discipline without Stress (DWS)
- Reviews and Testimonials
“When the only tool you have is a hammer, it is tempting to treat everything as if it were a nail.”
Where there is no participation by the one being disciplined, ownership will be lacking. When there is no ownership, there will be no lasting change.
The Discipline Without Stress eLearning program has been updated with a number of free short modules to view.
The charity for USA schools has also been updated:
Recent Without Stress … >>> READ MORE >>> →
In my books, speeches, and professional work, I always stress the importance of positivity. But sometimes you simply have to tell people “No,” even though it’s not a positive word. So how can you say “No” without actually saying “No”? Here’s a simple four-step process:
1. Acknowledge the importance of the request.
“I understand why that’s important to you.”
2. Inform the person that you have a problem with it.
“But I have a problem with it.”
3. Describe the problem as you see it.
“Your doing that would mean it would put a burden on everyone else.”
4. Elicit from the person something else.
“Let’s think of something that would be fair to everyone.”
By doing this, you’re saying … >>> READ MORE >>> →
A parent contacted me, inquiring how she could tell her child “no” but still remain positive. As she explained, “I find that I am telling my youngster ‘no’ so often that it disturbs me. I want to be positive, but ‘no’ sounds so negative. What should I do?”
I proceeded to tell her a short story: A few years ago my wife and I were to attend a formal event dedicated to the memory of the gifted Scottish poet and song writer Robbie Burns, who gave us such world classics as “Auld Lange Syne” and “My Love Is Like A Red, Red Rose.”
I planned to wear formal Scottish attire—a “Montrose” jacket and kilt. My wife inquired if she should … >>> READ MORE >>> →