Posts Tagged State What You Want

What Do You Want in Life?

Three_options_-_three_choices_schemeWhat do you want in life? It’s a difficult question, for sure, and one that can easily cause stress when you’re not sure of the answer.

Not getting what you want in life is frustrating. Yet it occurs often. One of the reasons we do not get what we want is that sometimes we are a lot clearer about what we don’t want than about what we do want.

For example, have you ever had a conversation like the following:
Friend 1: Where do you want to go dinner tonight?

Friend 2: Well, not that Italian place. We ate there a few nights ago.

Friend 1: Okay, how about the Mexican place?

Friend 2: No, I don’t want Mexican tonight.>>>


Your Words Influence Behavior

We often want to assist people by telling them what to avoid. Upon analysis, however, you will discover that so often when you tell a person what to avoid, the opposite results. The reason is that the brain does not envision “don’t” or any other negative-type word. The brain envisions pictures, illusions, visions, and images.

Here are some examples:

  • Don’t think of the color blue. What color did your brain envision?
  • Think of any house pet except a little white kitten with a bright red bow around its neck.
  • The park sign, “Don’t walk on the grass” is less effective than “Please use walkways.”
  • The teacher who tells the student not to look at his neighbor’s paper is having the
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Practices of Superior Teachers

Here are a few tips for promoting learning.

Use procedures rather than rules.
Superior teachers use procedures and do not rely on rules. Rules are necessary in games. However, in interactions, rules result in adversarial relationships because rules require enforcement. Rules place the teacher in the position of an enforcer, a cop-rather than that of a teacher, mentor, or facilitator of learning. Enforcing rules often results in power struggles that rarely result in win-win situations or in good relationships. Instead, rules often result in reluctance, resistance, and resentment. While rules are “left-hemisphere” oriented, and they work with people who are orderly and structured, they do not work well with “right-hemisphere” dominant students act who randomly and spontaneously. Even when … >>>